Superficial honesty for the sake of impressing people versus deep-seated honesty for the sake of doing the right thing. This is the difference between being blunt or straight forward and being rude. Serving a purpose versus being mean or nasty is another big difference between the two. Once you begin to pick up on these nuances, you will be able to let go of all of those nasty remarks that someone saying them claims are a “blunt” opinion. “I tell it like it is,” they might say. Truly honest and genuine people don’t feel the need to point out their own honesty. Let’s explore genuine honesty a little more by going deeper within.
When you speak, you know how you feel about what you’re saying. If you feel like you aren’t being genuine, then you probably aren’t and you should remember to be yourself. Everyone else is taken, after all.
This idea of being yourself comes much easier to some people than to others, and to really be good at it, you have to have a fairly high level of self-awareness and emotional intelligence, also known as EQ. In order to get to this level of self-awareness, you must first be at peace with yourself. This basically means that you have to accept yourself for who you are in order to get to a point of loving yourself, and once you get to this mindset, being genuine and honest but kind will come easily to you.
How to Cultivate Confidence Through Self-Acceptance
1. First, you have to take some time to get to know yourself. What do you believe in? What are you afraid of? For? Against? What are your core values? Get to know yourself by journaling and meditating daily. Learn about yourself without judging. Appreciate the way you look in the mirror.
2. As you continue to learn about who you are, take some time to work through the aspects of yourself and your behavior that you have trouble with. What do you beat yourself up for? Why? Is this really a legitimate mistake or are you just beating up on yourself because of conditioning? Evaluate your core values and accept the person you are, even if you feel that you need to improve your habits or lifestyle. Only by accepting yourself for who you are can you truly begin to become the greatest version of yourself.
3. Feel the feelings that are brought to the surface and then let them go. This is your emotional system working through various baggage you’ve held on to, and unfortunately this purge is a necessary step toward fully accepting yourself and reaching your inner calm.
4. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You may find that the purging process leaves some aspects of your life in upheaval or chaos; it will be okay. The more comfortable you are with living in the unknown, the more peaceful and perceptive you will be about what you are going to do.
5. Settle into your inner calm. It is very likely that you’ve glimpsed this mindset before, where nothing bothers you, problems are effortless to solve, you’re at peace with every outcome, and you begin to understand the interconnectedness of all things and events: the bigger picture.
Once you develop your confidence, you will probably notice that life just gets easier. You’re no longer trying to impress others, so your true, genuine opinion comes out effortlessly and always with kindness and constructive comments. You don’t feel the need to tear anyone else down because you realize that everyone serves an equally important purpose no matter what their talents.
No one ever said that honesty had to be brutal all the time. It can be kind and compassionate while still delivering an important message, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking that honesty equals being mean.
As always, continue leading mindfully! To learn more about the Mindfulness Movement and the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit: