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It’s important for you to make sure that your essential needs are taken care of, especially during times of change, upheaval, or abnormally high stress. We’ve all heard someone say, “If you can’t take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of anyone else?” Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone, but the point is generally received loud and clear. If you’ve followed us all month, you’ll remember that April has been a month of articles about change, dealing with change, and helping your team to do the same, especially when everyone is working toward a goal or solving a problem. To be at your best and stay there, here are a few things you can do (and even have your team do for themselves) to maintain your calm and sanity during uncertain times.

 

Caring for yourself, especially during times of uncertainty, can make a world of difference in your experience with whatever is happening. It may start out seeming horrible or like an insurmountable problem, but you’ll be much better at solving problems with a clear, sharp mind, well-rested body, and harmonious spirit. Here are several categories of self-care based on the different love languages so that you can determine which methods of self-care are best for you.

 

If you’re unsure about what love languages best fit you or you’ve never heard of the term, this quick definition should give you a general idea about what your needs are.

 

Love Languages for Self-Care

 

The five love languages, as presented in the book of the same title by Gary Chapman, are:

 

Words of Affirmation – If you feel loved when someone offers words of encouragement.

Acts of Service – If you feel loved when someone does something for you.

 Receiving Gifts – If you feel loved when someone gives you a gift.

Quality Time – If you feel loved when someone spends quality time with you.

Physical Touch – If you feel loved when someone hugs, cuddles, or kisses you.

 

Which love languages work best to make you feel loved? What applies for other people can also apply for yourself, so love yourself in the ways that you need most.

 

#1. If you’re someone who likes to hear encouraging words, record yourself speaking or simply meditate with music and say an affirmation to yourself like a mantra. The most effective way to do this is to think about what you need the most at that moment and frame it in a positive way. If you’re feeling lonely, you might think an affirmation like, “I feel loved, connected, and complete.”

 

#2. If you’re someone who feels loved when other people do things for you, you might consider doing something for yourself. Treat yourself to a massage or spa day; something that will help ease your stress and balance your body is best during stressful times, so I recommend avoiding things like alcohol, sugary treats, and so on. Do something for yourself that makes you feel good. A massage is perfect because someone else is giving you the massage… this would also count for the physical touch love language.

 

#3. If you’re someone who enjoys receiving gifts, go buy something that you want or have wanted for a while but never had a justification for getting. Within reason, of course! Whether that’s a new purse, outfit, or yacht is dependent on your finances, so remain responsible ;). For some of us, the tiniest things can make us happy, so ask yourself: what gift would make me happy right now?

 

#4. If you feel loved when spending quality time with someone, then maybe it’s time to spend a little quality time with yourself. The beautiful thing about this is that the possibilities are endless; if you have someone you miss spending time with, spend time with that person. However, if no other person comes to mind, you can do something that makes you happy while you’re doing it. For some that might be a hobby like writing, composing music, or photography; for others it might mean going back to martial arts or dance classes. It doesn’t matter what you do, but if there’s something you can do just for yourself, you will feel more peaceful and better equipped to handle any problems that arise.

 

#5. If you feel loved through physical touch, you can easily seek out close friends and family members for hugs, bond with your pet for a while, or (as mentioned) go get a massage. In some cities there are people who offer cuddling services, so if that’s something you’re comfortable with, you may want to look into it.

 

No matter what your love language is, self-love tends to follow along the same lines, so figure out a couple of things that you can do regularly if you find yourself feeling off. The more of your love languages an activity covers, the less time you need to devote to meeting your personal needs. However, not meeting your personal needs can be a very negative and painful experience, so find ways to take care of you so that you’re at your best.

 

What are your love languages? Has learning about them made it easier for you to care for yourself in an all-encompassing and balanced way? Leave a comment or drop us a line about your stories! We love to read them.

 

 

For more information on the Mindfulness Movement and mindful leadership, please visit:

http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement

 

 

Need some help with your mindfulness practice?  The Mindful Moments can certainly help!

 

You can find it on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

Thursday, 16 October 2014 16:24

3 Secrets to Unlocking Your Inspiration



All of us have had those moments where our level of inspiration or momentum towards something is diminished or completely missing. 
Those moments where we may be over stressed, over worked, over stimulated and our momentum feels like it’s running on autopilot, going through the motions to get the day, the month, the year over with.  

It is an uncomfortable feeling and one that comes with this constant niggling at the back of your head creating anxiety, discomfort, aggression ...or complete apathy.  Some of us can shut it off. Some of us can ignore it completely.  And some of us must create movement to feel better.

There are ways we dilute this discomfort perhaps with something that distracts us momentarily like exercise, sex, drugs, food, shopping, or alcohol.  The unfortunate part of this tactic is the release is short lived and we may feel worse off in the long run.

When we are feeling stuck in this loop what are we to do, wish the time away? 

Perhaps.  However until we are willing to take a long hard look at what is happening within and around us, we will continue to feel cut off at the knees. 

There are a multitude of actions we can take to help us create momentum. This may sound great, but when you are in an apathetic place may be very hard to implement. 

Take it slowly.  Stop berating yourself for what you are not. 

What we feed gets bigger, so pay attention to your thoughts and where you are putting your energy.  If you can’t find it within yourself to create inspiration, find someone or something outside of you to spark that flame. 

Here are 3 tips to help:

  • Start a new conversation with someone to bring out your creativity and awareness. 
  • Pick up a book that interests you and spend some time reading it. 
  • Watch some interesting videos on a subject that inspires you.

Inspiration usually comes in the disguise of everyday occurrences.  So stop, look, and listen to what’s around you.  Spend your time, energy, and resources on the things you want instead of reaffirming what you are not.  You may be surprised what you find when you look up and open your eyes.  


Find out more about Jenna here.


 


Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? Learn how the Power of Neuroscience can help.







© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.



This episode of the Coaching Crucible training is about employing a powerful "Product Pyramid" to help you grow your business. This information is critical, no matter what market you might be in. This hour long training is bursting with helpful information which can help you build a solid foundation for your business. I hope it serves you well!

Warmly,

Drayton

You can find out more about me here.

Here's the link to the complimentary video training on our special YouTube Channel:  


*Due to the amazing demand for the complimentary public service training we do each month, we have created a YouTube Channel where you can access all of the previous training webinars dating back to 2012. These are all complimentary. Please subscribe to our channel so that you will be notified automatically when we post new videos. Enjoy!

You can register for future Coaching Crucible webinars here.

*************************************************************************

Please join Gary Henson and me as we take on the biggest issues in the coaching industry. This is a free public service program we offer each month. It is lively, provocative, and packed with helpful information!



Wednesday, 20 August 2014 15:55

The Art and Beauty of Perseverance



per·se·ver·ance
noun

Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.


You must persevere! This is what I and many others are told when we hit rough times in life and in business. This is easily said by many, well executed by few.

 

Perseverance means different things to different people depending on upbringing, generational differences, overall outlook on life, etc., etc. While I believe it to be true that we should stand tall in the face of obstacles in our path to freedom, success and happiness, I also believe we must utilize a higher-level perspective of these issues. We need to employ own inner wisdom (which we frequently ignore), along with a trusted outside source, and attempt to get some distance from the issue or problem so as to decide if it is worth persevering for. As my friend Robin Rose often asks her audiences “What do you really want?”

 

I got the opportunity to learn this lesson in my own life and business. I will be eternally grateful that I did not get the very thing I was spending the energy to persevere through a few years ago, when I was in a different industry in a horrible economy. At some point I knew it was time to end the pointless perseverance and focus on getting through the upcoming changes that needed to happen so I could focus on building the life and business of my dreams.  It was not easy. I was warned by some that I should stick in out. Listening to my inner voice (and some excellent coaching around what I really wanted out of this short life)made the decision easy.

 

Then came the hard part. The fear. The concerns about stopping what I was doing. Taking the risk to do what I wanted to do. All the emotional, mental, and physically draining things I had to do to prepare and move ahead, were beyond overwhelming. There were many things to test my perseverance - family issues, partnership issues, and money issues, to name a few. Then there was the unexpected loss of support from some friends, whom I thought were true friends. In reality, they were only my friends when it benefitted them. Once that benefit went away with the changes I was making they no longer needed me. I am not going to lie, that one hurt.

 

If you are not happy. If you are searching for something. If you need to change your life and/or business. If you desire to reinvent yourself, I say DO IT!

Below are a few tips to get you started.

 

  • Be thoughtful about your process. It does no good to constantly make changes for the sake of change.
  • Create a plan. Make sure it is what you want and then begin executing that plan. This step alone may take months or even years. Don’t be intimidated, just begin and commit.
  • Hire a gifted coach as your trusted advisor. It is important to have someone who hears you, challenges you, and holds you accountable to your plans. (Make sure your coach has a coach!)
  • Spend time alone each day in quietude. Envision what your life will look like when you fully implement the changes for which you have persevered. Statistics have shown the most successful executives spend 20% of their week envisioning the next level for their organizations.

 

This is a subject that needs much more discussion based on where you are and what you want from your life. It is meant as a discussion starter so please share your thoughts, and stories about your own times of perseverance. It could be invaluable to someone who is unsure of what to do next.

 

If you are persevering just for the sake of it,  the time is at hand to decide on the changes that will bring the outcomes for you to live the happiest, most productive life you can. You will still have ample opportunities to use your perseverance skills. Only this time, those hard-earned skills can be in alignment with what you truly want. To quote Stephen Covey: “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” 



Find out more about Scott here.


 




This program will help you become an even more valuable performer!

     
Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

 

This episode of the Coaching Crucible training is about employing sound business fundamentals to grow your business, no matter what market you might be in. Gary Henson, from BusinessCoach.com, and I presented a version of this to thousands of professionals at the World Business and Executive Coach Summit earlier this summer. I hope it serves you well!

Warmly,

Drayton

You can find out more about me here.

Here's the link to the complimentary video training on our special YouTube Channel:  


*Due to the amazing demand for the complimentary public service training we do each month, we have created a YouTube Channel where you can access all of the previous training webinars dating back to 2012. These are all complimentary. Please subscribe to our channel so that you will be notified automatically when we post new videos. Enjoy!

You can register for future Coaching Crucible webinars here.

*************************************************************************

Please join Gary Henson and me as we take on the biggest issues in the coaching industry. This is a free public service program we offer each month. It is lively, provocative, and packed with helpful information!



Thursday, 17 July 2014 16:48

Five Generations of Challenges


Are you aware that there are now 5 generations in the workforce? Do you know how this impacts your business? 

Never in history has there been a more complicated time for business leaders to deal with the most expensive and important asset in business, human capital. The instant information age has not provided a tidal wave of solutions to problems in the workforce and has sometimes created false beliefs about people, expectations and experience.

Facts:

  • Never in History has there been 5 generations in the workforce at the same time!
  • Never in history has there been a more influential generation then the Millennials or if you prefer, Generation Y.
  • Never in history has there been so much danger in losing institutional knowledge in organizations as generations retire and others advance.
  • Never in history has there been a better time to connect with, and create success from so many different viewpoints on life and business. We need only listen…

We are living in a very dynamic age. Instant information, instant gratification, and real time details being posted to the world in life and business. This is vastly different from how previous generations were raised. The adjustments the older worker needs to make to the impatience from a younger generation create a turbulent devils punchbowl of misunderstandings, communication barriers, hurt feelings, perceived and sometimes a real lack of respect and disconnect.

For business leaders, human resource people and department managers trying to keep it all together between these different factions is becoming more challenging each day. The hours spent on keeping these generations working as an effective team is becoming so intrusive to the core focus of a business that many of these business leaders are not sure what the main focus of their job really is any more.  This is no longer a distraction it is a very big issue that is here to stay. It is becoming the new normal.

Currently, in late 2014, the Millennial generation is the largest demographic at 27% of the workforce in the United States. This number is expected to be 50% by 2020! This coupled with Baby Boomers retiring at a rapid pace, and advancement expectations of many Millennials that are not realistic in the minds of many business leaders is creating a tidal wave of problems on an epic scale. Not only is this an issue in the U.S. but for every country on the planet. We must acknowledge the fact that our lifestyle is changing, business models are changing and we as leaders must change. We must be able to communicate these changes and what they mean, with respect to each generation and its contributions to the world.

See the chart below to orient yourself to the ages of each generation. This is a general guideline and many studies show a slightly different span of years to depict the different generations.

  

 

Silent Generation

Baby Boomers

Generation X

Generation Y

Generation Z

Birth Year

1922-1945

1946-1964

1965-1978

1979-2000

2001-

Age in 2014

92-69

68-51

49-36

35-14

13-

 

Coaching conversations, coupled with a mindful follow up process, are the best steps toward building bridges between generations. Ignoring these issues is the best way to burn those bridges which will cost your business dearly.


Find out more about Scott here.

 




This program will help you become an even more valuable performer!

     
Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

 

Tuesday, 03 June 2014 16:23

Why is this Happening... AGAIN?!

How many times have you said that in your life?


Perhaps it was around relationships, friendships, health, or work. 

Do you ever find that in one, maybe two, areas of your life you seem to see the same pattern happening? 

Most of us have patterns in our lives - good, bad, or indifferent.  In fact, most of us could be called robotic by nature.

We as human beings move through our lives both consciously (which means in a state of awareness) and unconsciously (which is based on what we’ve memorized or are conditioned to do). 

We become robotic when we are moving through life unconsciously, destined to repeat some of the same experiences over and over again. 

Here are some statistics from the latest research in neuroscience:

  • We work unconsciously (robotically) 95% of our day.
  • We work consciously (deliberately) 5% of our day.
  • We have 60-70,000 thoughts per day.
  • 90% of those thoughts are the same ones you had yesterday.
  • 70-75% of those thoughts are negative.


Think about it. How do you start your day?  Do you have the same basic routine or rhythm to how you get ready?


So why do you ask: Is this happening AGAIN?! 


Because you’ve created it!


Human Beings act based on their conditioning, we become reliant on our experiences. Our minds by nature are repetitive.


In fact, most of our experiences are created to emotionally reinforce the personality we have become so accustom to.  When we are not aware of the stories we have, and the thoughts we create, we will never create a new future.


So what do we do?

  • Start small. 
  • Change things up a little with your routines. 
  • Change your morning routine.
  • Listen to a different radio station.
  • As one of my dear friends likes to do, order a different type of coffee every time you stop for one. 


By creating different experiences you will interrupt the unconscious programming and start to experience things differently. 


Different experiences create different outcomes.


Every step you take towards awareness is a step in the right direction.


Start small and go experience the life you really want! 


To your continued success!

 


Find out more about Jenna here.


 


Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? Coaching skills are the answer! Gain these skills with this program:

Coaching In The Workplace





© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, 09 April 2014 11:44

Stress - The Deadly Lie

stress 4.9.14

Stress
: 1) a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.; 2) something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety; 3) physical force or pressure (as defined by Merriam-Webster.com)

“Stress” is a word and concept so ubiquitous in our western society that it is difficult not to encounter its specter everywhere you turn.  You will hear “stress” referenced by all ages (I recently heard a 4 year old exclaim “Mom, leave me alone…you’re stressing me out!”), by professionals and amateurs, high and low performers – as an actual thing, a marketing tool, or the reason someone adopted any myriad lifestyle change. 

“Stress” appears to be everywhere, in control of, and laying waste to everyone!  But it doesn’t have to be that way – you do not need to live your life at the whim of this thing we call “stress”!

Here’s my main focus of this entry – you can control “stress”, and all the symptoms we lump into the category of “stress”, because STRESS IS NOT REAL!

Modern day “stress”, the psychological process of feeling overwhelmed or pushed beyond our ability to cope, is a carry-over from the “fight or flight” hard wired system.  This system has been our best defense over eons when faced with threat – turning a corner and running into a lion for instance – it allowed our forebears to stay alive by dumping large amounts of chemicals into our system for the boost we would need in strength, speed, or focus to survive.

Though “stress” is not an actual thing – you cannot show me “stress” or point out a “ stress” – the symptoms of a lifestyle filled with “mental tension” and  “strong feelings of worry or anxiety” are definitely real and negatively impacting life.

Did you know:

  • Researchers tracked women for nearly 40 years and found that those who experienced a greater number of stressors (work problems, divorce, family illness) in middle age were more likely to develop dementia later in life.
  • Experiencing chronic stress triggers the production of inflammatory compounds and damages areas of the brain linked to memory.
  • Symptoms of chronic stress can vary from anxiety, depression, social isolation, headache, abdominal pain or lack of sleep,  to back pain and difficulty concentrating.
  • Other symptoms include: hypertension, hemorrhoids, varicose veins,  panic attacks (or a panic disorder) and cardiovascular diseases.
  • The statistics show 24% of adults now categorize their stress levels as severe – and over half report moderate to high (5 or more on a scale of 10).
  • Family practitioners report that 66% of all doctor visits are for stress related symptoms such as headache, neck pain, irritable bowel syndrome, loss of libido, fatigue, sleeplessness, and even infertility.Stress is more regularly being recognized as a direct precursor to serious medical consequences such as heart disease and certain cancers.
  • People suffering from chronic stress may have difficulty attaining calm without the use of prescriptive medications, distractions (such as shopping and eating) or addictions.

That’s all bad stuff, right?  Of course it is… but because you live a high performing life does not mean you are sentenced to developing those symptoms, or any symptoms other than resiliency, strength, and mental toughness due to this thing called “stress”!

“Stress” is simply the catch all term we use to describe the manner in which we approach the adversity we each experience every day.  And without “stress” we cannot grow beyond who we are right now!


Who determines the working definition of “adversity” in your life?  

You! 

Not your friends, parents, family, co-workers, board, doctor, priest, therapist, television commercials, etc. You and I determine not only the level of disruption this adversity will have on our life, but the manner in which we engage that adversity plays a large part in how that adversity will be resolved.

The impact life events or experiences have on you is up to you!

You have the power to use “stressful” experiences or events to improve your life – leverage that power and take full ownership of your life by using some of the tools below:

  • Breathe!  When you are experiencing “stress” fill your lungs with 5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling in a controlled manner through your mouth.  Breathing in this manner short circuits the physiologic process that fuels the experience of “stress” and brings your automatic flight or fight response back into your conscious control.
  • Move through the challenge!  When thinking about that event, relationship, experience, task that is creating a stress response answer this question – “What is it you most don’t want to do, but know you should?”…and go do that exact thing!  So much of our stress response is associated with those challenging parts of life we would rather avoid…creating increased tension = stress.  Move through the challenge – doing so always makes you stronger.
  • Embrace discomfort and pain as tools of transformation! For our brains to create new neural connections upon which new behaviors might be built we need to reach…really stretch ourselves to the point of discomfort and/or pain.  Accept that discomfort and/or pain as the process of transformation, knowing you will be “better” on the other side.  Embrace, move through, and emerge stronger and with a higher stress response level.
  • Get outside your own experience! So often our brains become a closed loop circuit with thoughts just bouncing around inside our heads with no reality check coming from outside of ourselves.  Find a trusted individual (a coach, therapist, religious figure often work from a more advantageous perspective than those close to you) you can share those aspects generating a stress response.  Then steel yourself and work with them on developing a strategy to identify, engage, and transform those aspects from sources of weakness to strength.


“Stress” is not the external boogeyman we are led to believe!  “Stress” is a chosen (and often habitualized) set of responses to life – responses to life we choose!

It’s up to you – follow the sheep and helplessly live a life full of “stress” and the health limiting symptoms listed above, or follow your own “stress resistant” course and identify, engage, and emerge from life adversity with a more higher functioning, higher performing you.

 


Find out more about Greg here.

 


How do you handle stress? Please tell us how below. 



This program will help boost your career... and earnings!

     
Coaching In The Workplace


Thursday, 23 January 2014 14:44

Are Millennials Bringing You to Tears?



When asked at a corporate retreat to detail his biggest challenge as a senior level executive, an esteemed colleague recently shared with me that he was literally brought to tears of frustration as he described his efforts to connect and inspire his younger workforce.

Turnover from this segment was at an all-time high and it was severely affecting morale, production and leadership.

This scenario is happening all over the world. Millennials currently represent 30% of our workforce and will grow to over 40% by 2020. This issue will only exapand in importance. The press has written about this generation as the “Me Generation.” There are more similarities in values than one may think between generations; it is the order and priorities using these values in their lives that are different.

Here are three suggestions to engage differently with your Millennial workforce. If you want to gain a competitive edge, reduce turnover costs (and your frustration level), keep reading!

  • Create a plan. Seek outside expertise if necessary to create a strategic approach to this human capital issue. Address it like a budget issue, capital project, operational issue, or other business system. Also, please include your Human Resource people…and remember - this is a leadership issue, not an HR issue.
  • Ask your Millennials to weigh in. Get a better understanding of what the expectations are from your people. Asking during an exit interview is too late to salvage your investment in that person. So be proactive! Many times the solutions are within an organization. All we must do is ask for it.
  • This is a worldwide epidemic in business as more boomers retire and Millennials move in to fill the ranks. Coaching as a management style has never been more important than it is right now. Seek coaching training for your leaders.

Transform your culture to create buzz with Millennials as an organization that “gets it.”

This requires a different mindset in how we lead. Having a coaching professional to help you see things differently...asking provocative questions of the entire organization, stimulates new thinking. This shift leads to quicker solutions.

Remember, all business problems are people problems!

It is a new world. It is changing rapidly. It will not be “the way it was” ever again. By acknowledging these things and creating a plan to engage Millennials differently, you will be out in front as the trend setter with this vital segment of the workforce. Your turnover costs will drop and company morale will rise…not to mention your life will get a whole lot better when you are not frustrated to tears.

Are your Millennials bringing YOU to tears? Please leave your comments below. 



This program will help you become an even better leader!

     
Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

 

Friday, 01 March 2013 00:00

Executive Coaching is for Wimps

Executives of companies are intelligent, confident, innovative, and efficient. They inspire people and lead them to move mountains. Stress is not even in their vocabulary. So the term "Executive Coach" almost seems to be an oxymoron. How could these supermen/superwomen need to be coached? If they do, isn't that a sign of weakness? Executive Coaching is for Wimps.

As the CEO of a rapidly growing company, I know those thoughts crossed my mind when my COO brought it up as an idea. It seemed to have the stigma of a person going to a shrink and not wanting to talk about it. At the same time, I was intrigued. Behind every great athlete is a great coach. Could it possibly be the same for great executives?

It has been a year and a half since I had those thoughts. I have been working with an executive coach on a weekly basis since then. As a busy executive, the experience has proven to be invaluable and has changed my company and my life. A strong executive coach is not only a one-person board of directors with whom you can vet out strategic and tactical approaches; he/she is also an individual that constantly pushes an executive to perform at a higher and higher level every day.

Executive coaches focus on the individual to ensure that he/she is on top of their game on a daily basis, not just in preparation for the quarterly board meeting. As with any investment, what has been the return so far? In my company, the following tangible results have been achieved directly or indirectly by working with our executive coach:

•   A  rock-solid foundation of values, vision, and mission. 
•   A re-organized company that is customer-centric with self-directed, empowered teams.
•   More effective leaders – ratings of the leadership capabilities of our executive team increased significantly. 
•   Improved  employee  satisfaction  –  increased  over  9%  in  our  latest  survey. 
•   Improved customer satisfaction and product quality. 
•   Increased profitability by 28%.
•   Developed and improved sales capability. 
•   Launched five new products.
•   Ranked as one of the fastest growing technology companies in North America.

Our executive coach now works on a weekly basis with each of my executive staff members and on a regular basis with managers and staff.

Is Executive Coaching for Wimps? No!

Executive Coaching is for those who are courageous and confident enough to push for individual excellence and performance every day.

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© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
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