It seems as though hard times find everyone sooner or later, no matter what those hard times mean for you. Now, most people will tell you the saying, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” At times, it seems like a much more satisfying idea to chuck those lemons at your nearest frustration, but this saying should be taken in a way that more closely resembles emotional alchemy or transmutation. If this is a new concept to you, you’re in for a treat – read on to learn more.
There are certain habits and tools you can build upon to become better at being resilient. If you don’t already have these tools, life may try to teach you about them the hard way – which is also usually self-inflicted. Wait... what?! Yes... you read that right. The majority of our problems are self-inflicted.
The bad news is that this particular revelation can be painful... the good news is that it also puts your power over yourself and your life back into your hands, as most of us have spent our lives giving our power away to other people, thinking that they know what’s best for us and not realizing that it is, in fact, up to us as individuals to determine what is best for us. Stepping back into your power involves a few different things and revelations, but let’s stay focused on resilience for now.
Three Skills to Help You Become More Resilient
One of the first realizations that will help you to be more resilient is to understand that the majority of your life circumstances, problems, and issues are self-inflicted. Maybe not directly, and usually not on purpose, but if you’re at all familiar with the law of attraction and manifesting, you will know without doubt that this is true even though it is extremely uncomfortable to admit.
Which brings me to the first skill you will need: Acceptance. This includes but is not limited to being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Getting comfortable in the unknown is a challenge, to say the least, but it is definitely helpful and will test your faith... but if you have the skills, knowledge, and experiences to back up your beliefs, acceptance will help you a great deal. This goes hand in hand with the second skill: Allowing.
When I say allowing, what I’m speaking about is more along the lines of surrendering control – or, more precisely, your own need for control – and essentially minding your own business. You can’t force anyone into anything, and while you can voice concerns or address problems together calmly and reasonably, it isn’t advisable to nag or complain to try to make someone do what you want them to do.
The third essential tool for cultivating resilience is: Forgiveness. Most of the time we think of forgiveness when someone betrays us in some way and we have to continue a relationship with this person for whatever reason. This is probably one of the most surface-level types of forgiveness in existence because it’s so obvious. When it comes to forgiveness on a deeper level, one of your most powerful tools is to forgive yourself for “messing up” or “failing” and to nip the self-blame and deprecating self-talk in the bud.
Let’s face it... most of us aren’t very nice to ourselves in our own minds, and much of this is conditioned by our impressions and emotional interpretations of others’ commentary rather than cultivated by us on purpose. By cultivating these three skills as tools, we are transforming our life experiences into messages for our own development rather than getting stuck, wallowing, or continuing to do things that don’t serve us.
I encourage you to begin developing the skills of acceptance, allowing, and forgiveness today so that you can get to a place of resilience. By practicing these skills during times of peace, you will be better able to handle challenges and crises when they arise, which is inevitable in this life (as long as we’re being honest). Entering a higher dimension of consciousness will allow you to heal yourself more efficiently and effectively overall.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope that this article helps you to begin cultivating your resilience. Come back throughout October to read more about resilience and the subset of skills associated with it.
To learn more about the Mindfulness Movement and the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit: