As the New Year hits, most of us turn to recapping the year behind us, then setting goals for the year to come. Goals are fantastic as they help us set a direction. If you don't know where you are trying to go, how do you ever know if you get there?

When I think about resiliency as a goal, I think of being resilient as building a better foundation, so that we are more able to adapt, flex, and grow through the things life brings our way. Being resilient means demonstrating our ability to effectively and easily navigate our lives.

We have all heard the motto; "It is not what happens to us, but how we respond that matters." I am forever working to increase both my own and my children's level of resiliency. I want us to be prepared for those times when we may be knocked around, or even down. I want us to get back up, dust ourselves off, and have a reserve of energy to make what we want happen.

If you wish to take a look at your level of resiliency (or how well you bounce back), try taking a look at some of these aspects of your life.

• How healthy are the key relationships in your life?
• Are you able to nurture a positive view of yourself?
• Do you accept change as part of living?
• Do you see crisis as an insurmountable problem (perhaps it is part of our journey)?
• Do you know your goals and continue to move towards them by taking decisive action?

Try to slow your pace a little. Stop, look, and listen, so that you understand what is really happening vs. what story you have built around the situation. The story is not tangible but will drive our emotions and therefore our actions. Be deliberate in the things you focus on.

Resiliency is a great goal. With a little focus, you can build it and be a better person for having it.

All the best!

Find out more about Jenna here.

 

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© 2015 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

This is secretly one of the biggest fears of executives.  I know it was one of mine...the fear of being “found out” or exposed as the fraud I felt I was. 

What would happen if people found out that:

• I didn’t always have all the answers? 
• I didn’t always know what to do next?
• I was flying by the seat of my pants, hoping I was making the right decisions? 

To cope, I spent so much of my time being busy; juggling all the balls, hoping one wasn’t going to drop. Pretending that I was ten feet tall and bullet proof.  Trying to be everything to everybody so that I didn’t let anyone down.

• I was exhausted.
• I was scared.
• I was worried.
• I was fried…

Sound familiar?

I accomplished this juggling act for a great many years until one day I looked in the mirror and I said “you’re a fraud.”  I realized at that moment that I was living my life on other people’s terms, working for their desired outcomes, not mine.  

On the outside I looked like I had it all together.  I had built a wonderful reputation as someone who gets things done. I had built strong teams and developed relationships with peers that are still thriving to this day.  I created what I thought was confidence through lofty accomplishments. 

What I know now is all of that “stuff” was external to me.  I built a life that was external to who I am.  Everything my life was built on was based on my ego, my need to prove my worth. Oh, don’t forget the all important people pleasing that I was a champ at.

I was slowly but surely losing myself in the life I was building.  Day in and day out I was giving more of myself, emptying the tank.  If I hadn’t recognized this fact that lonely day in front of the mirror, I’m not sure where I would be today.

If this resonates with you in any way, then slow down and think...

When was the last time you spent any time in front of the mirror of your life?  I’m not talking about brushing your teeth, shaving or putting on your makeup.  I’m talking about really taking a look at yourself and the life you have built.  

When was the last time you asked yourself:

• Is this my life or is it someone else’s?  
• Am I operating from a place of personal integrity?
• Will I look back on my life with pride or regret?

If you are living this life like it’s truly yours, great! Keep building it.  If it’s someone else’s, don’t you think it’s about time you gave it back?

*******************************************************

Ever feel like an imposter, a fraud? Please leave your comments below. Let’s get this discussion out in the open!

And...

Did you know that all the way to the end of his illustrious career Jack Welch felt like an imposter? You’re in good company...



This program will help you become an even better leader!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

A colleague recently forwarded an article to me from the Financial Times online site FT.com entitled, “Stanford Research Finds Chief Executives Want Training,” written by Adam Palin, (August 1, 2013).

I read the one page summary with increasing agitation.

Highlights included:

• Nearly two-thirds of high level executives do not receive coaching or leadership advice from those outside their organizations.
• This despite 100% of executives involved in the research project “enjoy some type of coaching.”

Huh? Two-thirds don’t get coached but 100% of them enjoy it???

The findings reported in this particular article match the plethora of similar reports I have recently read in such varied sources as Inc. and Psychology Today…just within the month.

Often the reports comment on how important high level executives think coaching or advising is for their executive team – and yet, two-thirds aren’t getting that type of unbiased, larger perspective advising themselves.

So, why the agitation?  I had to stop and really think about why this ticked me off…

• I was not agitated at my colleague for forwarding the article.
• I certainly was not agitated at the reported findings, all of which promoted my chosen field of endeavor quite positively.
• My agitation arose from a question – “If executives value coaching and leadership advice so much, why aren’t more seeking it out?”  Why this “vacuum of I?”

What needs to occur for the headline to read: “100% Of Leaders Currently Using the Guidance of Executive Coaches?”

I chafe at the continuing bombardment of cultural communication focused upon reporting the status quo – the environment, economy, education – you name it.  The focus is very, very rarely on the action – just the “state of things.” Sadly, it’s as if we have become fixated on watching, with fewer and fewer of us actually taking action.

Regrettably it seems to be the case with many leaders too.

Why are “the best of the best,” not seeking outside guidance?  How can these leaders consider that a sound leadership approach?

Every individual must lead self (and others) to hers or his highest potential…a potential never achieved within the “vacuum of I.”

 

Do you know leaders who are living in the “vacuum of I?” If so, what can you do about it? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts.



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Note from the author: I wrote this a number of years ago - mostly as a journaling exercise to remember this experience. I wanted to share it now to hopefully inspire some of you who may be going through some tough times. You have what it takes to work through anything!

It was 20 degrees with freezing rain pelting the streets. At almost 8,000 ft. high in the mountains of Colorado ice storms are extremely rare. Colorado is usually blessed with dry powder and minimal ice…but not this night. Undetectable black ice covered everything. We later found out that the conditions were some of the worst ever experienced.

We were returning home from a Halloween party with our two children. The first slip on the ice coming out of the party was an early warning that the ride home would be challenging. We safely navigated the roads until we reached the top of the hill leading to our home. 

Nestled on a north facing slope, the road received the brunt of the ice storm before many other streets. It was truly like an ice skating rink. As we turned to descend the hill I put the car in its lowest gear and started to crawl towards home.

It's impossible to describe the terror I felt as the car began to slide sideways. While we were only going 2-3 miles per hour I was helpless to stop the car. Gravity pulled our family toward the 20 ft. embankment that dropped off from the road. The few seconds that it took to roll down that hill were the longest of our lives.

When my head cleared we were upside down. Immediately, my wife Kathryn and I were calling for the kids to make sure they were o.k. In retrospect, the level of calmness that we displayed was for a vital reason. The front part of the roof was crushed in so Kathryn and I had to crawl out of an opening that was only a foot high, the remnants of her door.

In these brief moments we all found out what we were made of. We marshaled personal courage and resources that we previously didn't know we possessed.

Our daughter Taylor, who was riding in the third row seat, miraculously freed herself from her upside down perch and crawled over the back seat to rescue her brother. While she was battered, bruised, and bleeding, her only thought was to get her much younger brother to safety. That she did.

In a heartbeat Kathryn was running through the frozen knee high grass to get to a neighbors house to call 911. She didn't seem to notice that her shoes had been knocked off in the crash. She felt no pain. Only later would she realize the level of agony that she must have endured as evidenced by her bruises and blood stained clothes.

I crawled around the car to reach the doors leading to our children. I grabbed the back door and pulled with all my might. I pulled so hard that the entire door handle came off in my hand. The door was crushed and would not open. I moved to the other door and again pulled with the strength that one would never normally possess. Again, the door handle came back with my hand…but this time the door opened with it.

In short order we were all huddled in the grass next to the car. We checked each other over.  We were miraculously spared any major injuries. While we were bruised - mentally and physically, we were blessed with the greatest gift of all - our lives.

I must admit as I write this that there are many emotions that I have had to revisit. Two major things are going to stick with me for the rest of my life. 

•   Live each day to its fullest - carpe diem!
•   Be thankful for all that you have…take the time to count your blessings.

I know that I do so now with zeal and gratitude as never before.

I am still amazed at the almost super human efforts that were demonstrated that night. This serves to inspire me in so many ways.

If we are capable of doing what may be perceived as "super human" feats in adrenaline packed situations, is there a way to tap into that potential? 

Believe me, I'm not advocating going through what we did. I am challenging myself (and hopefully you too) to dispel the self imposed limitations that may have shackled all of us. We are all capable of so much more than we may think. We possess a great deal more than our levels of confidence may be letting us demonstrate.

I was blessed enough to glimpse true human potential fulfilled. I am convinced that we are all capable of realizing our inherent greatness.

I kept one of the door handles to serve as a constant reminder of our blessings…and also what I am capable of. I now know more than ever what is possible!

QUESTION: What challenge have you overcome that would inspire others to hear about?  Please share a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

 


© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Leadership requires a wide range of skills, understanding, and awareness. And it starts with an objective personal assessment of all of these.

As we look to organizations, we do so with the understanding that in every organization there is a current “leadership lid.”  Nothing brings forward the current leadership’s lid as much as change does.

Leadership is often made or broken by the trials of experiencing change. Leaders rarely acknowledge the toll that leading change takes on them personally. The personal impact can be enormous.

Executives find a way to adapt to new business situations such as establishing a start-up, growing a business, negotiating mergers and acquisitions, downsizing, or restructuring. Yet many are ill equipped to deal with the obvious personal dimension of executive leadership, especially when faced with change. Thankfully, there are preparations that one can take to ensure success.

Before we embrace change we must look objectively at ourselves by asking some tough questions:

• How do I limit the organization? 
• Does my current view of my leadership team limit their progress?
• What blind spots of mine are hindering the organization’s performance?
• What personality characteristics of mine hurt the organization as it faces change?

Questions such as these are necessary to develop our own internal understanding of how well we will lead others through change. 

It is about nurturing our ability to get beyond our own set of thinking, which is based on experience…and may not be steeped in reality.

Stop and ask yourself: How well am I leading through change and what is the impact it is having on me personally?

A common assumption is that a leader can go through a “change” and not be affected by it. This is simply not the case. 

The rules of the game are uncertain and may have to be developed along the way. As the context and assumptions of the situation are changing, understanding and clarifying our habitual behaviors is critical. 

Factors such as mission, initiatives, goals, and priorities will ensure that the basis of the change is appropriate and that it does indeed solve the “right problems.” Many organizational changes are initiated based on false assumptions and understanding – our blind spots. These surface due to a lack of personal awareness.

A leader’s primary role must therefore be to test and validate that the changes will lead to an improved state…for all parties, not just themselves.

The leader that aspires to lead change must often be the first to be transformed in order to lead the change in question. He or she must also assess how their mind-set will have to be transformed by the very change that they are expecting others to experience. At an emotional and visceral level, they must be able to understand how this change will impact themselves before they attempt to lead others through it.

Leaders must have a strong sense of self-awareness prior to leading any change initiative. Knowing one’s strengths and constraints can create a conviction of informed optimism that can infect, motivate, and mobilize others. In contrast, those who plunge head long without a deliberate personal change plan will often find themselves questioning their abilities and commitment in the midst of the change…as will those whom they lead.

Identify your blinds spots and change yourself first in order to help lead others through change. It’s your duty as a leader.

To your continued success!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Remember recent experiences of excitement and childlike joy with new experiences, such as with nature, traveling to a new country, or engaging a new idea.  

Mastery retains the spirit of our beginner’s mind, as we experience things in childhood with an openness, a first time freshness without preconceived ideas and developed notions influenced by others, when we were totally receptive to new information.  

One of the ultimate impediments to creativity is when a successful process becomes a paradigm, an established procedure. Subsequently, the paradigm and a lifeless set of techniques are followed that then move from new and vibrant to conformity and rote procedure.

The desire to fit into the needs or wants of others, to accumulate all the voices internalized from others, including parents and significant others without amalgamating and transforming them into your own voice creates conformity.

To consistently oppose positions or authority, to counter convention or rules, are an antithesis of mastery, as each embody an external point of reference.

Both opposition and conformity occupy the same prison.

Creating a new story can reengage that beginner’s mind.  We do that by remaining open, asking questions, embracing childlike excitement and playful approach, and thinking beyond words and limitations.  This creative reverie accesses preverbal and unconscious forms of mental activity that generates surprising ideas and creativity. 

We must sustain the risk of failing and the anticipation of being criticized in order to expand beyond the familiar and habitual way of thinking.  Hindrances to this process include a pressure to produce results, a need to generate profits, or a fear of inadequacy or non-productivity.  

A powerful sense of purpose and passion can sustain setbacks and failures.  A deep-rooted interest sustains the rigors of hard work to get to creative action.  It allows you to surpass doubters, critics, non-believers.  

Creative brainstorming, to allow imagination to soar, catalyzes imagination and intuition.  Deduction and logical thought are components of a different mindset, not to be interspersed with this creative time.  Each is valuable, yet each is a different state of mind, much like creative writing and editing. 

Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

---

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Our uniqueness is a seed planted at birth that seeks growth, transformation, and flowering to its full potential. This innate force, an intrinsic motivation to be effective, is the bedrock of our driving force as humans.

I have observed videos of direct infant observation studies by Psychoanalysts Virginia Demos and later Joyce McDougall showing that infants as early as three months old have an intrinsic desire to be effective in their environment. When they do, they experience pleasure at mastery. This fundamental motivation permeates everything we do, and extends for a lifetime.

When Albert Einstein was five years old, his father gave him a compass as a present. Its needle that changed directions as he moved the compass about instantly transfixed him. The idea of an invisible magnetic force touched him to his core. He would later wonder about other forces in the world similarly invisible and equally powerful. This simple question of hidden forces and fields became his life's work. He acknowledged often thinking back to the compass that sparked his initial fascination.

John Coltrane experienced spiritual and emotional longings that he did not know how to verbalize. As he drifted into music as a hobby, he played saxophone with his high school band. He later heard the great jazz saxophonist Charlie "Bird" Parker perform live. The sounds he heard touched Coltrane's primal core. Coltrane desired to find a way to effectively express his uniqueness to give voice to these deep emotions. As he focused on this form of expression, his personal mastery was to become one of the greatest jazz artists of his era, and of all time.

These are the kinds of discoveries that James Hillman speaks of in The Soul's Code as the spark that ignites a life calling.

At times we may disregard or lose touch with these signals from our central core. When we listen or we connect with this primal core, this visceral reaction resonates with our authentic self. Perhaps even a life's purpose.

At times, we may be attracted to a false path for the wrong reasons: conforming to directives from parents, social pressures of conformity, focusing on money, attention, or fame. We ultimately recognize this as an ersatz effectiveness, a false mastery. Results can include dissatisfaction, burnout, a sense that something is missing, or even a blatant resentment.

One of the common features of those who have become true masters is the awareness of experiencing the world differently than others and finding a way to express that uniqueness.


Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

I excitedly retrieved my monthly auto magazine from the mail this afternoon.

For me, the contents usually represent nothing but eye candy, machines I will never have the opportunity to enjoy.

Until today that thought never really bothered me, but it is a sad, sad commentary on where I find myself…

My mindset stinks!  I suspect yours might too…

Here I am, someone others engage to help with their mindset – to lead them through the process of overcoming their self-created obstacles, which I do exceptionally well (he says humbly). I have a file full of amazing client success stories to validate this. Yet, I suddenly became aware that I was buying into a thinking small mindset—something that I help others work on each day. What???

As I looked through that magazine and felt the guilt, remorse, and disappointment of never actualizing some of my dreams, I realized that at present, I was not worthy of my dreams. Something had to change…and I knew it started with my thoughts.

While I know that my core is good, solid, dependable, and full of love and joy, I was not realizing my full self with this kind of thinking. I realized that I was going to have to think much bigger to support my dreams. I knew that I had to focus even harder on working from the inside out.

There was a time in my life where this was not the case…a time where I felt worthy of anything. I saw no barriers…only opportunities. How did I let that slip away?

It’s high time I find that mindset again.  Not only for me, but for those whom I serve as well.  I must be worthy of the faith and trust they have in me to assist them along their journey. I need to lead by example again.

Right now, my mindset is not worthy of my dreams.  I have a discipline level that is not worthy of my dreams.  With this awareness I know how to make the changes I need to.

Do you need to change your mindset? Are you playing small? Is it time to actualize your dreams?

I’ll be working extra hard to make sure the following quote won’t ever apply to me again.  Will you?

“Long before you reach the limits of your skills, you’ll come up against the limits of you!” – Pace Klein.

I now anxiously await next month’s issue knowing that my recalibrated mindset will view each page through a “possibility” lens.



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

It is with great pride that we announce our latest coaching program- Coaching in the Workplace™.

Click here to get more details.

Our goal has always been to help spread the amazing benefits of coaching in the workplace. This program takes tools and resources used by thousands of people in 36 countries, and packages them for use in any organization. This course represents many years of work perfecting tools that truly can help transform an organization.

This program is for executives, HR professionals, managers, and coaches. It is designed as a self study course that you can take on your schedule.

If your organization has any issues with turnover, absenteeism, employee engagement, or any other Human Capital related challenges, then this course is for you.

According to Gallop (and other leading survey firms) here are the workplace realities…which coaching, and this program specifically, can help with:

• 75% of people wished they had a different job.
• 51% of “A” workers are actively looking for a different job.
• Worker productivity is only at 33%.
• Lack of engagement costs U.S. businesses over $385 BILLION a year!
• 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work.

Coaching can address all of these issues…in fact; it may well be the ONLY thing that can cure these workplace “ills.”

If you don’t have a coaching strategy in your organization, we can guarantee you one thing—these statistics will not go down…

Coaching is the “cure.” Isn’t it time you used coaching to focus on your most important asset…your people?

Click here to enroll or to get more details.

My inbox sat at 1,405 emails, my calendar was over flowing, and my task list was miles long. I was in a state of overwhelm. Certainly not in a state of happiness...

Sound familiar?  I bet it does…

If I only had the time to catch up. If only I had the time to be happy…

With most of us over scheduling and multitasking, how can anything really get our attention, much less, our focus? Especially our focus on what is truly important. “Busyness” has taken over. At what cost? Where has our happiness gone?

I spent time with a client the other day who, from an outside perspective, you would think has it “all.”  Beautiful home with a panoramic view of the ocean, fancy car, high status, lots of money. With one question I stopped him in his tracks; “Are you happy?” It was like I hit him with a two-by-four. The conversation went dead silent.  After a long pause he answered “No.”

I harken back to when I was “slapped in the face” by life. Within one day my life as I knew it was forever changed. I never saw it coming.  My ambition as an athlete, my thriving career, my beautiful home, didn’t mean a thing.  I had lost my health and immediately nothing else mattered.  All that mattered was that I made it through the day. All that mattered was finding a glimpse of happiness through the pain.

Life changes on a dime, so my question to you is “Are you ready?” and more importantly, “Are you happy?”  Isn’t that what we are trying to achieve will all of our efforts? Have we lost sight of that? I know I did and didn’t even realize it.

Right now take inventory of your level of happiness. On a scale of 1-10 what is it? If you are like most it needs some work. I challenge you to ask yourself, “What one step can I take today to create a little more happiness in my life?”

Trust me, it’s worth it. You’re worth it. If you don’t take care of yourself and focus on finding your happiness you may well get a big wakeup call like I did. 

Give yourself the gift of happiness once again. It’s a choice. Slow down and make it.


©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.