My daughter and I share a love of Greek and Roman mythology. We are currently reading “The Mark of Athena,” the third installment of Rick Riordan’s “The Heroes of Olympus.”  It is such great material and rich with modern interpretations of the stories.

Percy Jackson, a demigod (son of Poseidon and a mortal) and one of the main heroes in the book series, is confronted with a particularly challenging quest.  Following a confrontation with another demigod in which Percy very well could have been killed, he begins to question his power…and himself. Eerily like many leaders in top organizations I work with on a daily basis. 

“Percy didn’t feel powerful.  The more heroic stuff he did, the more he realized how limited he was.  He felt like a fraud. ‘I’m not as great as you think,’ he wanted to warn his friends. Maybe that’s why he had started to fear suffocation.  It wasn’t so much drowning in the earth or the sea, but the feeling that he was sinking into too many expectations, literally getting in over his head.”

When I read Percy’s rumination I flashed back to a conversation I had with a CEO of an organization last year. Much of the business’s growth had been meteoric and his “reputation” had grown with similar speed -- to almost cult like proportions.

His ego reveled in being held in such high regard, but through our discussions he acknowledged he was quaking inside, “Just waiting for them to see who I really am and for it all to fall apart!”

As his external world seemed to improve his internal world deteriorated. This leader found himself closing down and trying to control more and more.  He was less open to comments from his executive team, often making unilateral decisions without consulting them.  He discounted information that he did not agree with. He was cutting himself off -- suffocating himself!

He began to lose touch with the values that anchored his initial success, replacing them with others’ expectations. His compass no longer pointed to his “true north,” and he began to lose his way.

We see it constantly in the news -- General Patraeus, Eliot Spitzer, and the Secret Service detail in Columbia, to name just a few leaders (or those considered leaders in their field). They drowned in others’ expectations or projections of greatness, leading to poor judgment and a belief to some extent of being “above the law.”

When a CEO (or any leader) loses their way, it has a ripple effect throughout the organization, their family, and their entire community! The collateral damage is immense.

Who else do you know who responds to feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy with greater levels of denial, self-importance, and constriction?  We all know someone who fits that profile...they might even be staring at us in the mirror in the morning.

The remedy is a loving, tough, trusting, outside advisor. A person who calls it like they see it and says the things that a person often doesn’t want to hear. Luckily, Percy Jackson had his demigod friends as trusted advisors to help him find his way.

Who do you have?

Commit to getting your own advisor (it could be an executive coach, a mentor, or a trusted friend), or you may run the risk of becoming a self destructive high performer. Leadership is a challenging path that all of us need help navigating. Make sure that you have a support system that will keep you from a path like Percy’s.

Oh, and that CEO I had the discussion with…he’s still looking for work.


©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

It’s true. You may not know it. You may not want to own it. But it is true.

All of the following facts come from the scientific community; folks who study the brain. Here’s the reality:

•     We have 60,000 thoughts a day.
•     95% of these thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday.
•     71% of these thoughts are NEGATIVE!

What???

The reality is…we are talking ourselves into failure!

YOU are your greatest foe.

YOU own your thoughts.

YOU can change them!

It’s all about awareness…

Here are some techniques to shift this destructive cycle:

•     Own it! Say to yourself: “I own my thoughts, no one else.” This is a major shift which brings the power and ownership back to you. You, no one else, owns your thoughts. Look inside for the answers, not outside.
•     Start acknowledging each negative thought you have. Stop (mentally) and soak in the thought. Don’t avoid it. Stuffing it back inside is like continually putting pop back into a bottle. At some point it is going to explode. The same will happen with you.
•     Close your eyes (stay with me here, this really works). Imagine clouds floating in the sky. Now place your negative thought on a cloud. Send it good thoughts. Thank it for the awareness lesson it provided. Tell it you don’t need it any longer. Watch it drift away.

Try doing this for just one day. See how you feel. See if your thoughts start to change. If you keep this up you will DEFINTELY change your thoughts, which in turn leads to a change in your actions.

If you truly want to change your patterns of behavior you first have to change your thoughts. They are the building blocks for everything.

This negative self talk is your ego’s way of trying to keep you small. Don’t let it! YOU own your thoughts, not your ego. Take back ownership of them, and…

TALK YOURSELF INTO SUCCESS!

P.S. - If I see any of your words on a cloud I will make sure they continue on their journey.  ;-) 


Want to know more about Executive Coaching? Click here.



© 2013 and beyond. Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Due to the amazing demand for the complimentary public service training we do each month, we have created a YouTube Channel where you can access all of the previous training webinars dating back to 2012. These are all complimentary. Please subscribe to our channel so that you will be notified automatically when we post new videos. Enjoy!

Here's the link to our special YouTube Channel:  


You can register for the webinars here.

*************************************************************************

Please join Gary Henson and me as we take on the biggest issues in the coaching industry. This is a free public service program we offer each month. It is lively, provocative, and packed with helpful information!

We all know the kind of conversation I’m talking about.  The kind you would gladly trade for a root canal at your favorite dentist or that “routine” exam by your proctologist. Yes, anything but that conversation!

Most of us will wait until the emotion surrounding the conversation becomes so heated or toxic that when we do finally say what is needed, the true message is hidden in anger, frustration and disappointment.

What is the “true message?”

Is it a litany of the wrongs the person has committed?

Is it a list of everything the person didn’t do that they should have?

In other words, is the “true message” focused on how the person has failed in your eyes?

Unfortunately, usually the answer to all these questions is “yes,” when it should be a resounding “NO!”

A “crucial conversation” is nothing more than a powerful opportunity to convey our current concerns to someone whom we care for greatly.

Did you get that?  We have “crucial conversations” out of our intense caring for another – otherwise why expend the energy?

How much more effective might our conversation be if we perceive it not as a negative thing, but the opportunity for a “powerful conversation” with someone we care about?

How much more effective might our conversation be, if we didn’t shirk away and become complicit in the difficulty the conversation needs to address (because the less we say the more complicit we are)?

True servant leaders will hold a powerful conversation using these steps:

• The night before the conversation write down all the reasons you care for the other person.
• Then write down what the most positive outcome looks like – what would each of you walk away with?
• Just before the conversation review #1 and #2, take three deep breaths, and smile.
• Begin the conversation with something like “I wanted to meet with you today because I am very concerned about   you.” End the conversation with “Thank you for taking your time to meet with me today and thank you for being a part of this resolution.”
• Follow up the conversation with some correspondence reaffirming your commitment to the person and the pathway agreed upon.

Take responsibility for having the right approach, and these “crucial conversations” will become a powerful interaction that benefits both parties.

*Find the classic book Crucial Conversations by Patterson, et al. here.



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Quick... what are your priorities today?

You may have a task list, you may have meetings lined up, but what are your real priorities?

Lately, I have been amazed at the answers I get when I query executives about their priorities. Many utter a reference to "objectives" that sounds good, but soon they discover that their answers don't clarify what their priorities are for that day. They often are not clear on what actions they need to focus on today that will lead to success tomorrow.

The second revelation is the massive amount of "disconnects" there are within companies over what a person's or team's priorities are, or should be. In training sessions I often focus on aligning a company's priorities in order to achieve their strategic goals. I will take executives through a discovery exercise that goes like this-

I ask the group to list their top 3 priorities. I then ask them to get with the person that they report to or with their teammates with whom they work most closely. They compare their priorities and guess what? Over 50% of the time they don't match! Over half the time their priorities are completely different than those around them. Do you think this might cause some "disconnects?" Imagine, the person that you report to thinks you should be working on "X" and you are working feverishly on "Y." Do you think someone may be disappointed?

There is a huge misalignment here, and it's all based upon assuming (a really dangerous thing to do in any circumstance!) that every­one knows what is important...the real priorities. Don't assume! Ask, verify, and realign!

Business runs at a frenetic pace as you well know. Things pop up daily that divert your focus and therefore may shift your priorities. Over time you can lose sight of the real priorities that lead to the achievement of the bigger goals that you have estab­lished.

It all comes down to continual communication about what is important and what has changed on the landscape that may have shifted your priorities.

Steve Pinchotti, CEO of a high tech company, states- "The leadership team in every company must set clear objectives and priorities and review them on a frequent basis. Having the discipline to maintain a priority list enables you to handle new initia­tives with minimal disruptions. The expectation that all workers can and will achieve extraordinary results is not realistic unless they know what to work on first."

Don't wait for your review, or board meeting, or any other check in point, to discover that there was a mis­alignment of priorities. Check with your team and those around you to make sure that everyone constantly knows what the priorities should be.If you and your team have your priorities in sync, the more successful and happy, you, and they, will be.

Leadership is often about focusing on the most basic things. This is one of them.


© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Click here to schedule a session to see if coaching is a good fit for you or give us a ring: 1.800.526.6038

Are you ready for a coach?   

"Nothing happens without personal transformation."
~W. E. Deming

Do you have a certain “point of pain” in your life or career?

Are you ready for more happiness and fulfillment in life and work?

Do you:

• Want a better work/life integration?
• Have a desire to take the next step in your career and need to polish your leadership skills?
• Need a “sounding board” who can give you a seasoned outside perspective?
• Find yourself at your wit's end trying to figure out your Millennials and need some help connecting with them?

Which one of these fits your need? Something else?

We admire your courage to start investigating whether coaching will help you. We know it can help most folks…not all, but most. You see, the key is whether you are ready to change. If you’re not, please don’t waste time going down the coaching path. It won’t work. If you are ready, then let’s talk and see if we are a good fit.

We have coached and trained thousands of people in 39 countries and pride ourselves in serving others through coaching. We stand ready to assist you in your desire to grow personally and professionally.

If you’re ready, don’t delay…take action now! It all starts with a conversation. We will be your guide.

Click here to schedule a complimentary exploratory session with us. Feel free to call us at 1.800.526.6038. We are here to serve. We look forward to doing so!

1-1 Coaching Packages

MasterMind Group Coaching

Proven areas of specialization

Our Proprietary Process

Coaching Success Stories

10 Reasons to Retain a Coach

Coach...Show Me How!

Coaching Priorities

Leadership Proficiencies

Harvard Executive Coaching Project
(Which Drayton was a part of)

Articles on Coaching


For more information email us at Support@ExecutiveCoachU.com   or 1.800.526.6038

 

“Ac·count·abil·i·ty “

Webster’s Definition:   an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions

The word “accountability” seems to be getting more and more air time as you look around the world of business (and politics) these days.

The problem is that most of the focus is usually outside of the person looking for more accountability!

As enlightened servant leaders, let us do a quick exercise to identify the one place in this world where accountability actually begins.  I want you to peer into a window, monitor, or mirror that is close at hand -- really look deeply – whoever is peering back at you is the true source of accountability. You!

As with everything associated with leadership, accountability is an inside-out process.  How can we, as enlightened servant leaders, expect others to value the process of accountability if we do not demonstrate how we value that process ourselves? 

As a collective, let us not fall into the false thinking that accountability is only associated with deadlines, tasks, dashboards, and any other way we measure productivity.  As leaders, we must hold ourselves accountable for EVERYTHING we think and do!

You, and you alone, have the ability to control your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Whether you actually hold yourself accountable for exerting that control, rather than externalizing that ability, is another issue entirely.

Do you hold yourself accountable for your words and actions, insuring alignment with your values?  Do you actively accept responsibility for expressing those values and providing space for those around you to express theirs?  

Has your organization adopted accountability as a cornerstone of its culture?  If yes, how is that expressed?

Utilizing the principle of accountability within our lives provides us a tool to insure we are living in a manner in which our purpose will be fulfilled. 

Accountability keeps us on the right path.

Are you on the right path?

Greg Styles
Director of Special Projects
Executive Coaching University



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Do you feel like this guy? Rest assured, you are not alone!

Please listen to this podcast. It was originally provided to people who purchased my book, Coming UnScrooged. I feel so passionate about the content that I wanted to make it available to everyone.

It's a wakeup call for all business people!

Warmly,


DraytonBoylston
CEO - Executive Coaching University

Click on the link below to access the recording.

Executive_911


Please know that we are here to help!. You can find out how we can assist here.




© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

BIG NEWS TODAY!

 

We just received word that our flagship Executive Coaching Training Program (CMEC) was approved by the International Coach Federation! We can now award 15 CCEUs (credit hours) toward coaching certifications with the ICF. This is a wonderful compliment to our SHRM certifications.

This is such a beautiful reflection on our entire team. Congratulations to all of you!

Many thanks to all of you for your support over the years. We are so blessed…

You can find details here:

http://www.executivecoachinguniversity.com/

Warmly,

Drayton

Founder and CEO

www.RescueInstitute.org

www.ExecutiveCoachingUniversity.com

All of your employees are happy and productive, right?  Thought so…

According to Gallop (and other leading survey firms) here is the reality:

1. 75% of people wished they had a different job.
2. 51% of “A” workers are actively looking for a different job.
3. Worker productivity is only at 33%.
4. Lack of engagement costs U.S. businesses over $385 BILLION a year!
5. 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work.

What do you think of these smelling salts?!

Coaching can address all of these issues…in fact; it may well be the ONLY thing that can cure these workplace “ills.”

If you don’t have a coaching strategy in your organization, I can guarantee you one thing—these statistics will not go down…

Coaching is the “cure.” Isn’t it time you used coaching to focus on your most important asset…your people?

 

A. Drayton Boylston

Founder and CEO

Executive Coaching University



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.