Many leaders speak about success and how to get there. Fear, however, is a topic that isn’t discussed nearly enough. If it were discussed more, it would cease to be so crippling in its grip on our mindset and perception.

Have you ever noticed that when someone goes through a trauma, one of the best ways for that trauma to lose its powerful grasp on the mind and emotions is for the victim to discuss it and get comfortable with talking about it? This rings true for any fear. Getting comfortable with it, getting closely acquainted with the things you fear – this is one of the most powerful tools you can use to work through your fear and take your power back.

Keep Your “Enemies” Closer

·       If you have a close friend, coach, or therapist you can speak with about your fears, that’s good. However, if you don’t want to necessarily share your fears right away – it can be an intimidating exercise at first – then you may want to consider using a journal to get to know your fears.

·       Journaling is a useful tool in life, whether you’re working through a challenge or just documenting something that happened. You may find that it takes a little time to reach the depths you need to reach to get the full positive effect of journaling, but the more often you write, the easier this exercise becomes.

·     Acknowledging your fear and getting to know it better is like becoming friends with someone you find intimidating. Maybe you don’t know why they strike you as intimidating, but as you get to know this person, you may begin to find that they are – as suspected – just a person.

·   Deciding to master your fears is another important step in the process. Everything begins with a decision and the commitment to follow through. This rings true if you’re quitting smoking or writing a bestseller; it doesn’t matter what you’re going to accomplish as long as you make the decision to go for it and commit to the process.

This brings me to the last point I’d like to make about fear. It’s been said that many people are afraid of success; not consciously, of course, but subconsciously. Part of the reason for that is that most of us have a distinct impression of what it means to “get there.” When things don’t go as planned or new opportunities arise while we’re on our journey, we can get confused or sidetracked.

No matter what your version of success is, remember to enjoy the journey itself and take joy in the process. If new opportunities find you, don’t be afraid to take them on as you have the time to. Although it helps to stay focused mainly on your ultimate path, you may find that working on two or three different paths or projects can keep you from experiencing burnout because you have variety along your journey.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” – Alice Morse Earle

As the New Year hits, most of us turn to recapping the year behind us, then setting goals for the year to come. Goals are fantastic as they help us set a direction. If you don't know where you are trying to go, how do you ever know if you get there?

When I think about resiliency as a goal, I think of being resilient as building a better foundation, so that we are more able to adapt, flex, and grow through the things life brings our way. Being resilient means demonstrating our ability to effectively and easily navigate our lives.

We have all heard the motto; "It is not what happens to us, but how we respond that matters." I am forever working to increase both my own and my children's level of resiliency. I want us to be prepared for those times when we may be knocked around, or even down. I want us to get back up, dust ourselves off, and have a reserve of energy to make what we want happen.

If you wish to take a look at your level of resiliency (or how well you bounce back), try taking a look at some of these aspects of your life.

• How healthy are the key relationships in your life?
• Are you able to nurture a positive view of yourself?
• Do you accept change as part of living?
• Do you see crisis as an insurmountable problem (perhaps it is part of our journey)?
• Do you know your goals and continue to move towards them by taking decisive action?

Try to slow your pace a little. Stop, look, and listen, so that you understand what is really happening vs. what story you have built around the situation. The story is not tangible but will drive our emotions and therefore our actions. Be deliberate in the things you focus on.

Resiliency is a great goal. With a little focus, you can build it and be a better person for having it.

All the best!

Find out more about Jenna here.

Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? 

Learn how the Power of Neuroscience can help.







© 2015 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

This episode of the Coaching Crucible training is about employing a powerful "Product Pyramid" to help you grow your business. This information is critical, no matter what market you might be in. This hour long training is bursting with helpful information which can help you build a solid foundation for your business. I hope it serves you well!

Warmly,

Drayton

You can find out more about me here.

Here's the link to the complimentary video training on our special YouTube Channel:  

*Due to the amazing demand for the complimentary public service training we do each month, we have created a YouTube Channel where you can access all of the previous training webinars dating back to 2012. These are all complimentary. Please subscribe to our channel so that you will be notified automatically when we post new videos. Enjoy!

You can register for future Coaching Crucible webinars here.

*************************************************************************

Please join Gary Henson and me as we take on the biggest issues in the coaching industry. This is a free public service program we offer each month. It is lively, provocative, and packed with helpful information!

per·se·ver·ance - noun

Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

You must persevere! This is what I and many others are told when we hit rough times in life and in business. This is easily said by many, well executed by few.

Perseverance means different things to different people depending on upbringing, generational differences, overall outlook on life, etc., etc. While I believe it to be true that we should stand tall in the face of obstacles in our path to freedom, success and happiness, I also believe we must utilize a higher-level perspective of these issues. We need to employ own inner wisdom (which we frequently ignore), along with a trusted outside source, and attempt to get some distance from the issue or problem so as to decide if it is worth persevering for. As my friend Robin Rose often asks her audiences “What do you really want?”

I got the opportunity to learn this lesson in my own life and business. I will be eternally grateful that I did not get the very thing I was spending the energy to persevere through a few years ago, when I was in a different industry in a horrible economy. At some point I knew it was time to end the pointless perseverance and focus on getting through the upcoming changes that needed to happen so I could focus on building the life and business of my dreams.  It was not easy. I was warned by some that I should stick in out. Listening to my inner voice (and some excellent coaching around what I really wanted out of this short life)made the decision easy.

Then came the hard part. The fear. The concerns about stopping what I was doing. Taking the risk to do what I wanted to do. All the emotional, mental, and physically draining things I had to do to prepare and move ahead, were beyond overwhelming. There were many things to test my perseverance - family issues, partnership issues, and money issues, to name a few. Then there was the unexpected loss of support from some friends, whom I thought were true friends. In reality, they were only my friends when it benefitted them. Once that benefit went away with the changes I was making they no longer needed me. I am not going to lie, that one hurt.

If you are not happy. If you are searching for something. If you need to change your life and/or business. If you desire to reinvent yourself, I say DO IT!

Below are a few tips to get you started.

• Be thoughtful about your process. It does no good to constantly make changes for the sake of change.
• Create a plan. Make sure it is what you want and then begin executing that plan. This step alone may take months or even years. Don’t be intimidated, just begin and commit.
• Hire a gifted coach as your trusted advisor. It is important to have someone who hears you, challenges you, and holds you accountable to your plans. (Make sure your coach has a coach!)
• Spend time alone each day in quietude. Envision what your life will look like when you fully implement the changes for which you have persevered. Statistics have shown the most successful executives spend 20% of their week envisioning the next level for their organizations.

This is a subject that needs much more discussion based on where you are and what you want from your life. It is meant as a discussion starter so please share your thoughts, and stories about your own times of perseverance. It could be invaluable to someone who is unsure of what to do next.

If you are persevering just for the sake of it,  the time is at hand to decide on the changes that will bring the outcomes for you to live the happiest, most productive life you can. You will still have ample opportunities to use your perseverance skills. Only this time, those hard-earned skills can be in alignment with what you truly want. To quote Stephen Covey: “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” 

Find out more about Scott here.

This program will help you become an even more valuable performer!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

This episode of the Coaching Crucible training is about employing sound business fundamentals to grow your business, no matter what market you might be in. Gary Henson, from BusinessCoach.com, and I presented a version of this to thousands of professionals at the World Business and Executive Coach Summit earlier this summer. I hope it serves you well!

Warmly,

Drayton

You can find out more about me here.

Here's the link to the complimentary video training on our special YouTube Channel:  

*Due to the amazing demand for the complimentary public service training we do each month, we have created a YouTube Channel where you can access all of the previous training webinars dating back to 2012. These are all complimentary. Please subscribe to our channel so that you will be notified automatically when we post new videos. Enjoy!

You can register for future Coaching Crucible webinars here.

*************************************************************************

Please join Gary Henson and me as we take on the biggest issues in the coaching industry. This is a free public service program we offer each month. It is lively, provocative, and packed with helpful information!

After 27 years in business I know how imperative it is to consistently fine tune your offerings for what is relevant for your clients, you and your business. Working as an Executive Coach the needs landscape is constantly changing. Through listening to the needs of our clients we change what we offer in our suite of services accordingly.  One area that is a constant and is consistently on the rise in the world is stress in life and business.

Stress is like an odorless gas. It seeps in and slowly begins to asphyxiate us. Before we know it the symptoms of stress show up in our relationships, work quality, and our physical body. We treat these symptoms in a variety of ways from medicine, to escapism and everything in between.  These treatments however do not take care of stress itself as the core issue.

My colleagues Drayton Boylston, Jenna Forster, and Greg Styles and I at the Executive Coaching University have committed to taking on this stress epidemic. Each of us has our specialties in coaching clientele ranging from high level executives, business owners, women in business, high performance athletes, engaging the millennial workforce and serving fellow coaches. The brain trust at ECU is constantly seeking ways to serve the highest number of people, for the greater good of all, in areas that have the most impact in behavioral change, for the best results in life and business.

Consider these facts:

• 85% of ALL illness is stress related
• Depression is projected to be the #2 killer by 2020
• Managers and executives are 40 times more likely to suffer from heart issues
• 75% of people wish they had another job
• 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work
• Stress related illnesses are costing organizations over $350 billion a year

By attacking the root of this stress issue we are helping our clients find:

• Peace and relaxation
• They are enjoying life and work again
• They are feeling healthier and more motivated
• Their relationships are stronger with family, friends and co-workers
• They have discovered “Me Time” in each day
• Our business leaders are seeing an increase in moral, productivity, and profits

Over the next few months we will be offering a one day Oregon Stress Slayer Workshop and a Colorado Stress Slayer Workshop to kick off our dedication to increasing the happiness level in our clients, by reducing stress in our lives and businesses through mindfulness. We want to lessen this common link of stress and replace it with higher quality of living for you! Keep watch for other offerings as we continue to serve the greatest number for the greatest good through coaching. Take the time to invest in yourself and join us to help reduce your stress. It may just save your life!

To register for the workshops in Salem, Oregon or Denver, Colorado click the links above. For more information about other locations and dates or to bring us into your organization or city please contact us here: 1.800.251.1696 or email us.

Stress : 1) a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.; 2) something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety; 3) physical force or pressure (as defined by Merriam-Webster.com)

“Stress” is a word and concept so ubiquitous in our western society that it is difficult not to encounter its specter everywhere you turn.  You will hear “stress” referenced by all ages (I recently heard a 4 year old exclaim “Mom, leave me alone…you’re stressing me out!”), by professionals and amateurs, high and low performers – as an actual thing, a marketing tool, or the reason someone adopted any myriad lifestyle change. 

“Stress” appears to be everywhere, in control of, and laying waste to everyone!  But it doesn’t have to be that way – you do not need to live your life at the whim of this thing we call “stress”!

Here’s my main focus of this entry – you can control “stress”, and all the symptoms we lump into the category of “stress”, because STRESS IS NOT REAL!

Modern day “stress”, the psychological process of feeling overwhelmed or pushed beyond our ability to cope, is a carry-over from the “fight or flight” hard wired system.  This system has been our best defense over eons when faced with threat – turning a corner and running into a lion for instance – it allowed our forebears to stay alive by dumping large amounts of chemicals into our system for the boost we would need in strength, speed, or focus to survive.

Though “stress” is not an actual thing – you cannot show me “stress” or point out a “ stress” – the symptoms of a lifestyle filled with “mental tension” and  “strong feelings of worry or anxiety” are definitely real and negatively impacting life.

Did you know:

• Researchers tracked women for nearly 40 years and found that those who experienced a greater number of stressors (work problems, divorce, family illness) in middle age were more likely to develop dementia later in life.
• Experiencing chronic stress triggers the production of inflammatory compounds and damages areas of the brain linked to memory.
• Symptoms of chronic stress can vary from anxiety, depression, social isolation, headache, abdominal pain or lack of sleep,  to back pain and difficulty concentrating.
• Other symptoms include: hypertension, hemorrhoids, varicose veins,  panic attacks (or a panic disorder) and cardiovascular diseases.
• The statistics show 24% of adults now categorize their stress levels as severe – and over half report moderate to high (5 or more on a scale of 10).
• Family practitioners report that 66% of all doctor visits are for stress related symptoms such as headache, neck pain, irritable bowel syndrome, loss of libido, fatigue, sleeplessness, and even infertility.Stress is more regularly being recognized as a direct precursor to serious medical consequences such as heart disease and certain cancers.

• People suffering from chronic stress may have difficulty attaining calm without the use of prescriptive medications, distractions (such as shopping and eating) or addictions.
  

That’s all bad stuff, right?  Of course it is… but because you live a high performing life does not mean you are sentenced to developing those symptoms, or any symptoms other than resiliency, strength, and mental toughness due to this thing called “stress”!

“Stress” is simply the catch all term we use to describe the manner in which we approach the adversity we each experience every day.  And without “stress” we cannot grow beyond who we are right now!

Who determines the working definition of “adversity” in your life?  

You! 

Not your friends, parents, family, co-workers, board, doctor, priest, therapist, television commercials, etc. You and I determine not only the level of disruption this adversity will have on our life, but the manner in which we engage that adversity plays a large part in how that adversity will be resolved.

The impact life events or experiences have on you is up to you!

You have the power to use “stressful” experiences or events to improve your life – leverage that power and take full ownership of your life by using some of the tools below:

• Breathe!  When you are experiencing “stress” fill your lungs with 5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling in a controlled manner through your mouth.  Breathing in this manner short circuits the physiologic process that fuels the experience of “stress” and brings your automatic flight or fight response back into your conscious control.
• Move through the challenge!  When thinking about that event, relationship, experience, task that is creating a stress response answer this question – “What is it you most don’t want to do, but know you should?”…and go do that exact thing!  So much of our stress response is associated with those challenging parts of life we would rather avoid…creating increased tension = stress.  Move through the challenge – doing so always makes you stronger.
• Embrace discomfort and pain as tools of transformation! For our brains to create new neural connections upon which new behaviors might be built we need to reach…really stretch ourselves to the point of discomfort and/or pain.  Accept that discomfort and/or pain as the process of transformation, knowing you will be “better” on the other side.  Embrace, move through, and emerge stronger and with a higher stress response level.
• Get outside your own experience! So often our brains become a closed loop circuit with thoughts just bouncing around inside our heads with no reality check coming from outside of ourselves.  Find a trusted individual (a coach, therapist, religious figure often work from a more advantageous perspective than those close to you) you can share those aspects generating a stress response.  Then steel yourself and work with them on developing a strategy to identify, engage, and transform those aspects from sources of weakness to strength.

“Stress” is not the external boogeyman we are led to believe!  “Stress” is a chosen (and often habitualized) set of responses to life – responses to life we choose!

It’s up to you – follow the sheep and helplessly live a life full of “stress” and the health limiting symptoms listed above, or follow your own “stress resistant” course and identify, engage, and emerge from life adversity with a more higher functioning, higher performing you.

Find out more about Greg here.

 

How do you handle stress? Please tell us how below. 



This program will help boost your career... and earnings!

     Coaching In The Workplace

Ever said that to yourself?
 

Everywhere you look there are articles, videos, and advertisements stating the need to shut off our negative thoughts and be more positive.  While I am all about viewing life from the perspective of “what you can do” versus “what you can't do,”  I also understand that turning off negative thoughts is not a light switch that can be turned off with enough willpower!

Did you know that?

• Inside the multiple layers of your brain, deep within, is an electrical system so alive that with every thought you are firing and wiring synaptic connections.

• Every time you learn something new you make a new connection in your brain.
  
• Your mind and body are connected by chemical releases we like to call “feelings” or “emotions.”
  
• Most of our actions are taken in order to emotionally feel the same way we did yesterday.
  

So why can’t you just stop being negative?
 

Because you have wired your brain and your body to think certain thoughts and have certain feelings. You have done this so well and for so long that those connections are stronger than ever.

Moving from negative to positive is a physical process.

Start to think of your brain as a garden.

Your job is to plant enough new thoughts, emotions and experiences that your current connections automatically get pruned away.  When your garden is full and vibrant, you will naturally start to remove some of the older, unhealthy plants that don’t serve your garden anymore.

In the neuroscience world (like in the gardening world) it is called pruning.  You see, you’re a human being and your nature is to be successful…you’re built that way.  With a little attention you can shift in the right direction.

Start small, chose to learn something new and begin to create new experiences in your life. Here are some ways to do this:

• Read up on a subject matter that interests you.
• Take a different route to work.
• Eat at a different restaurant.
• Start-up a conversation with someone new.

 
As we learn something new, we fire a new synaptic connection. As we experience something new, we get our body involved and feel differently. 

The more you gain new knowledge and experiences, the more you can wire and fire your brain with brand new connections.  The more you repeat your learning and experiences, the more current is sent to these new connections.

If your brain is busy wiring and firing your new thoughts, feelings and emotions, it is not signaling your old ones.

Your job from this day forward is to:

• Slow down.
  
• Pay attention.
  
• Learn, grow and expand.
  

This is how change is made and finally you can STOP being so negative.

To your future!

Find out more about Jenna here.

 

Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? Coaching skills are the answer! Gain these skills with this program:

     Coaching In The Workplace





© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

High performers are not like everyone else.  They think about, and do, things differently.  One of the ways in which high performers differ is in their audacious willingness to execute…often when others would prefer to remain inactive or fiddle around trying to have the perfect plan before “pulling the trigger.”  

Find out more about Greg here.

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

I am often confronted with the question “Why are you sending these blogs to me?  I’m not an executive!” from those non-business executives to whom I forward ECU blogs.  After all, we are the “Executive Coaching University”, so all our material is targeted only to those seen as business executives, right?  Wrong!

In my mind the term “executive” is more adjective than noun – it describes how someone approaches her life rather than who she is and is synonymous with “peak performer”…someone who desires to live life at the highest level possible.

An executive/peak performer:

• Executes – high level performers execute.  They engage the “Ready, Fire, Aim” process of prepare, take action, adjust action that creates greater amounts of positive energy and results, rather than the conventional “Ready, Aim, Fire”…recognizing the majority of people get stuck at “Aim” and never take the action needed.  Ever seen a mom or dad juggle one or more toddlers?  That’s as high performance execution as you will see in any boardroom or courtroom!

An executive/peak performer:

• Is inside-out focused – high level performers understand that our external environment mirrors our internal developmental level.  In other words, high level performers focus on themselves and drive towards their personal “A-game” rather than continuously looking outside of themselves for responsibility, accountability, and solutions.  Think of the slogan “An Army of One” – each individual piece striving to be at their peak, coalescing into a high performing group entity.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is gritty – high level performers seek out opportunities to cultivate grit, that mix of determination, passion, and perseverance that allows us to drive through obstacles.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is neuroscience savvy – high level performers understand how the brain and body work to create the results desired.  Without that knowledge we abdicate our creative power to the unconscious, habit and live our lives on auto pilot.

An executive/peak performer:

• Constantly seeks to self-improve – the high level performer understands that human beings are biologically designed for constant growth and change, yet psychologically drive towards homeostasis and comfort.  Therefore, high level performers continuously look for opportunities for growth and recognize the motivation for that growth must initially come from within.  They push themselves to “reach” as often as possible.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is anchored by values and integrity – the high level performer knows what they value and utilize those values as foundation for their decision making and actions.  Integrity is a cornerstone of the high performers psyche – they embody the saying “Always do the right thing, even if nobody else is looking.”

High level performers wear many different hats and hold many different roles within our society.  Yet, they share the characteristics outlined above. 

If you are reading this you are an executive regardless your official “title”! 

Welcome executive – now pass it on to your brother and sister high performers!

Find out more about Greg here.

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.