Friday, 21 March 2014 13:11

Why Are You So Negative?


Ever said that to yourself?
 

Everywhere you look there are articles, videos, and advertisements stating the need to shut off our negative thoughts and be more positive.  While I am all about viewing life from the perspective of “what you can do” versus “what you can't do,”  I also understand that turning off negative thoughts is not a light switch that can be turned off with enough willpower!

Did you know that?

  • Inside the multiple layers of your brain, deep within, is an electrical system so alive that with every thought you are firing and wiring synaptic connections.
  • Every time you learn something new you make a new connection in your brain.
  • Your mind and body are connected by chemical releases we like to call “feelings” or “emotions.
  • Most of our actions are taken in order to emotionally feel the same way we did yesterday.


So why can’t you just stop being negative?
 

Because you have wired your brain and your body to think certain thoughts and have certain feelings. You have done this so well and for so long that those connections are stronger than ever.

Moving from negative to positive is a physical process.

Start to think of your brain as a garden.

Your job is to plant enough new thoughts, emotions and experiences that your current connections automatically get pruned away.  When your garden is full and vibrant, you will naturally start to remove some of the older, unhealthy plants that don’t serve your garden anymore.

In the neuroscience world (like in the gardening world) it is called pruning.  You see, you’re a human being and your nature is to be successful…you’re built that way.  With a little attention you can shift in the right direction.

Start small, chose to learn something new and begin to create new experiences in your life. Here are some ways to do this:

  • Read up on a subject matter that interests you.
  • Take a different route to work.
  • Eat at a different restaurant.
  • Start-up a conversation with someone new.

 
As we learn something new, we fire a new synaptic connection. As we experience something new, we get our body involved and feel differently. 


The more you gain new knowledge and experiences, the more you can wire and fire your brain with brand new connections.  The more you repeat your learning and experiences, the more current is sent to these new connections.

If your brain is busy wiring and firing your new thoughts, feelings and emotions, it is not signaling your old ones.

Your job from this day forward is to:

  • Slow down.
  • Pay attention.
  • Learn, grow and expand.


This is how change is made and finally you can STOP being so negative.

To your future!

 

Find out more about Jenna here.

 


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Thursday, 13 March 2014 14:56

Ready, Fire, Aim!



High performers are not like everyone else.  They think about, and do, things differently.  One of the ways in which high performers differ is in their audacious willingness to execute…often when others would prefer to remain inactive or fiddle around trying to have the perfect plan before “pulling the trigger.”  

Execution for high performers follows a very distinct path. High performers follow the “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequence versus the more socially accepted, and dismally fatally flawed, “Ready, Aim, Fire” approach.  

Let’s look at the “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequence more closely to understand why it far out performs the standard “Ready, Aim, Fire.”

READY:
  • The “READY” stage is exactly what you would imagine it to be.  This is the initial step where inspiration ignites into an idea, that idea further aligns with our passion, and we’re off to the planning races.  This is where we collect the energy, knowledge, and resources needed to accomplish the initial steps of our grand adventure.  At this stage it is imperative that we move through with a solid goal setting process – visualizing the overall goal, and then reverse engineering so we can “chunk” up each step.  Without proper “chunking” we will find ourselves adrift after only a couple of “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycles…and we will not reach our goal!  So “READY” is all about taking our inspired idea, molding it into an overarching vision, breaking that big picture into small bites through working backwards, and collecting the necessary information/resources to begin the next step – “FIRE.”
FIRE:
  • Now it’s time to “FIRE” – to take action.  This is where we take that very first step you developed in the “READY” phase and put it into practice.  Remember, that first step is a synergistic element made of all the knowledge, resources, and inspiration, needed to take this action.  None of those elements will likely be perfect - they will never be.  So take that small step of action and allow the environment to provide you feedback.  Listening to that feedback is what allows the next step, "AIM," to be increasingly effective in getting us closer and closer to our target.
AIM:
  • Once we have taken the action of putting our initial step developed in the “READY” phase into the environment into which we intend to impact, we will begin to receive feedback from that environment.  That feedback (wins/losses, improved times, reviews, criticisms, sales numbers, improving/worsening relationships, etc…) is new inspiration, knowledge, and resources, we then put into our next “READY” cycle.  Entering the new data into our calculus allows us to create a new “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycle that allows us to hone in more effectively on our goal than did our first cycle.  Each successive cycle gets us closer and closer to accomplishing that overall goal – step by step.
 
Each of these “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequences then become “chunks” of our overall approach. Each step towards our goal we move through a “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycle specific to that step...and one that builds upon all initiated before.  This is how we “zero” in on our target. 

High performers utilize this “Ready, Fire, Aim” approach to guard against the common phenomenon of “paralysis by analysis” – essentially trying to get everything “perfect” before taking action…commonly leading to no action at all!

“Ready, Fire, Aim” also allows high performers to operate much more consistently within a reality highly engaged with the environments within which they are “playing.”  They are receiving real time feedback from the environment within which the target resides (creating an open feedback loop), not focusing on the often faulty internal feedback system of thier own mind (a closed feedback loop).

One exceptionally important concept to understand with adopting the process of “Ready, Fire, Aim” versus “Ready, Aim, Fire” is that of “failing to succeed” – as in the quickest way to success is through consistent, multiple failures.  In current business jargon this is called “failing forward.”

Are you a high performer?  Are you willing to fail to succeed?  Do you have the courage to operate in a manner in which the masses resist?

You’re reading this blog – so the answer to all those questions is “Of course I am!”  

Then get to it!
 

Find out more about Greg here.

 


Are you a high performer? Please tell us why below. 



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© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Monday, 10 February 2014 18:20

So You Think You're an Executive?



I am often confronted with the question “Why are you sending these blogs to me?  I’m not an executive!” from those non-business executives to whom I forward ECU blogs.  After all, we are the “Executive Coaching University”, so all our material is targeted only to those seen as business executives, right?  Wrong!

In my mind the term “executive” is more adjective than noun – it describes how someone approaches her life rather than who she is and is synonymous with “peak performer”…someone who desires to live life at the highest level possible.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Executes – high level performers execute.  They engage the “Ready, Fire, Aim” process of prepare, take action, adjust action that creates greater amounts of positive energy and results, rather than the conventional “Ready, Aim, Fire”…recognizing the majority of people get stuck at “Aim” and never take the action needed.  Ever seen a mom or dad juggle one or more toddlers?  That’s as high performance execution as you will see in any boardroom or courtroom!

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is inside-out focused – high level performers understand that our external environment mirrors our internal developmental level.  In other words, high level performers focus on themselves and drive towards their personal “A-game” rather than continuously looking outside of themselves for responsibility, accountability, and solutions.  Think of the slogan “An Army of One” – each individual piece striving to be at their peak, coalescing into a high performing group entity.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is gritty – high level performers seek out opportunities to cultivate grit, that mix of determination, passion, and perseverance that allows us to drive through obstacles.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is neuroscience savvy – high level performers understand how the brain and body work to create the results desired.  Without that knowledge we abdicate our creative power to the unconscious, habit and live our lives on auto pilot.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Constantly seeks to self-improve – the high level performer understands that human beings are biologically designed for constant growth and change, yet psychologically drive towards homeostasis and comfort.  Therefore, high level performers continuously look for opportunities for growth and recognize the motivation for that growth must initially come from within.  They push themselves to “reach” as often as possible.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is anchored by values and integrity – the high level performer knows what they value and utilize those values as foundation for their decision making and actions.  Integrity is a cornerstone of the high performers psyche – they embody the saying “Always do the right thing, even if nobody else is looking.”

High level performers wear many different hats and hold many different roles within our society.  Yet, they share the characteristics outlined above. 

If you are reading this you are an executive regardless your official “title”! 

Welcome executive – now pass it on to your brother and sister high performers!

Find out more about Greg here.

 


Are you an executive/peak performer? Please tell us why below. 



This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

     
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Wednesday, 05 February 2014 15:59

What's the Big Deal About Women?



Women are better executives than men. Yep, I just said it. Now, I'll back it up!

  • According to Business Insider women rank at 54.5 percent in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” with men ranking 51.8 percent.
  • According to the same article in Business Insider, “Overall Female Effectiveness” increases significantly after the age of 40.

Yet...

  • According to Forbes Inc. women currently hold 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions and roughly the same percentage of Fortune 1000 CEO positions.

Hmmm…

So why, if women have a higher ranking in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” and they get better with age, are there so few women leaders? 

The answers are varied and, quite frankly, questionable. Anything from the standard work-life balance drivel to the "glass ceiling" for female executives.   The quote that jumps out for me is “women need to perform twice as well to be thought of as half as good.”  

So… are women tired of the battle?  I don’t think so…

The reality is that women are the ones to watch!  With their strategic ability, instinct for collaboration, and ability to invest in the teams around them, their rise is inevitable. 

One of their greatest traits is that women maintain the habit of asking for feedback and taking action to improve which makes them invaluable. Do most men? Not so much.

So for all you women out there…continue your path, take initiative, drive for results, know your worth, and lead on! 

For the men…you may want to make friends with your women colleagues so they remember you when they are at the top.

They are indeed a BIG deal.


To your continued success!

 


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© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, 15 January 2014 11:19

You're a Fraud!

This is secretly one of the biggest fears of executives.  I know it was one of mine...the fear of being “found out” or exposed as the fraud I felt I was. 

What would happen if people found out that:

  • I didn’t always have all the answers? 
  • I didn’t always know what to do next?
  • I was flying by the seat of my pants, hoping I was making the right decisions? 

To cope, I spent so much of my time being busy; juggling all the balls, hoping one wasn’t going to drop. Pretending that I was ten feet tall and bullet proof.  Trying to be everything to everybody so that I didn’t let anyone down.

  • I was exhausted.
  • I was scared.
  • I was worried.
  • I was fried…

Sound familiar?

I accomplished this juggling act for a great many years until one day I looked in the mirror and I said “you’re a fraud.”  I realized at that moment that I was living my life on other people’s terms, working for their desired outcomes, not mine.  

On the outside I looked like I had it all together.  I had built a wonderful reputation as someone who gets things done. I had built strong teams and developed relationships with peers that are still thriving to this day.  I created what I thought was confidence through lofty accomplishments. 

What I know now is all of that “stuff” was external to me.  I built a life that was external to who I am.  Everything my life was built on was based on my ego, my need to prove my worth. Oh, don’t forget the all important people pleasing that I was a champ at.

I was slowly but surely losing myself in the life I was building.  Day in and day out I was giving more of myself, emptying the tank.  If I hadn’t recognized this fact that lonely day in front of the mirror, I’m not sure where I would be today.

If this resonates with you in any way, then slow down and think...

When was the last time you spent any time in front of the mirror of your life?  I’m not talking about brushing your teeth, shaving or putting on your makeup.  I’m talking about really taking a look at yourself and the life you have built.  

When was the last time you asked yourself:

  • Is this my life or is it someone else’s?  
  • Am I operating from a place of personal integrity?
  • Will I look back on my life with pride or regret?

If you are living this life like it’s truly yours, great! Keep building it.  If it’s someone else’s, don’t you think it’s about time you gave it back?

*******************************************************

Ever feel like an imposter, a fraud? Please leave your comments below. Let’s get this discussion out in the open!

And...

Did you know that all the way to the end of his illustrious career Jack Welch felt like an imposter? You’re in good company...



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Tuesday, 17 December 2013 18:33

Are You a 1%-er?

Whisper 284

Are you really clear about what you want?

  • Have you made a list?
  • Have you set goals?
  • Have you visualized your desires as being achieved already?

Thought so…

The odds were with me on this one.

You see…

  • Only 3% of people set goals.

3%.

And, it gets better…

  • Only 1% review their goals daily.

1%.

And the percentage of people who actually visualize achieving their goals?

Smaller than my mind can grasp (that means I couldn’t find research to back up any number).    ;-)

This is GREAT NEWS!

What!,” you say?

It’s true…

Think about it for a moment…

If you actually crystallize your goals,

Then write them down,

Then visualize achieving them each day…

Guess what?

You will be at the top of the class!

You will do what most others don’t!

And, most importantly…

You will achieve all that you want!

And it starts with…

  • Thinking the thoughts.
  • Writing the thoughts down.
  • “Seeing” the thoughts coming true.

You can carve out 5 minutes each day in order to achieve your dreams, right?

Thought so.

I just knew that you wanted to be a 1%-er!

I can “see” your desires coming true already…



This program will help you become a 1%-er!

     
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Friday, 15 November 2013 14:47

Are You Dying to Leave a Good Legacy?



Truly...Are you dying to leave a good legacy?

Want to know how to do it?

So many of my clients are at the stage of their lives where their focus is on leaving a good legacy.  Isn’t this what all of us want? To be remembered fondly...to make an impact...to build something.

While these are very admirable goals (and ones that I find myself thinking of often), I have discovered that leaving a legacy means something slightly different for everyone. 

Most of us focus on building and creating so that when we are gone people remember us.  We focus on the external...not the internal.

What do people actually remember about us after we have moved on?  

Do they remember what we did...or who we were?

One of my clients mentioned that some of the most memorable individuals within the organization were not necessarily the top performers. The reason they are memorable is because they are a nice person who is kind to everyone. It’s about who they are vs. what they do.

Hmmm...

While this seems crazy to those of us who are driven to slay the big dragons, there may be something to this.

Leaving a legacy isn’t just about doing something, it is about being someone.  People don’t just remember what you did...they remember how you did it, and who you were while doing it. 

Legacy is about who you are being while accomplishing your tasks, it’s about interpersonal relationships. It’s about having an impact on the way people think. 

Life is so much bigger than our need to prove our worth...so much bigger than controlling a business outcome...so much bigger than just the bottom line. 

Life is really about being an inspiration to those around you through your actions.

Ask yourself:

  • Who are you being each day? 
  • What imprint are you leaving on others? 
  • How do you make your contribution?

I have yet to attend a funeral where work accomplishments were the main focus. 

I know I want my eulogy to be about the positive impact I was able to make in people’s lives – and not just the bottom line. 

How about you?

Start to think about life as your vehicle to express who you truly are and the positive ripple effect you leave when you walk out of a room.  If your actions connect with another and inspire them in any way, you have left a positive legacy. 

You are leaving a legacy every single day of your life...in every moment. What legacy do you want to leave...starting today?


Wednesday, 07 August 2013 14:15

The Vacuum of I

A colleague recently forwarded an article to me from the Financial Times online site FT.com entitled, “Stanford Research Finds Chief Executives Want Training,” written by Adam Palin, (August 1, 2013).

I read the one page summary with increasing agitation.

Highlights included:

  • Nearly two-thirds of high level executives do not receive coaching or leadership advice from those outside their organizations.
  • This despite 100% of executives involved in the research project “enjoy some type of coaching.”

Huh? Two-thirds don’t get coached but 100% of them enjoy it???

The findings reported in this particular article match the plethora of similar reports I have recently read in such varied sources as Inc. and Psychology Today…just within the month.

Often the reports comment on how important high level executives think coaching or advising is for their executive team – and yet, two-thirds aren’t getting that type of unbiased, larger perspective advising themselves.

So, why the agitation?  I had to stop and really think about why this ticked me off…

  • I was not agitated at my colleague for forwarding the article.
  • I certainly was not agitated at the reported findings, all of which promoted my chosen field of endeavor quite positively.
  • My agitation arose from a question – “If executives value coaching and leadership advice so much, why aren’t more seeking it out?”  Why this “vacuum of I?”

What needs to occur for the headline to read: “100% Of Leaders Currently Using the Guidance of Executive Coaches?”

I chafe at the continuing bombardment of cultural communication focused upon reporting the status quo – the environment, economy, education – you name it.  The focus is very, very rarely on the action – just the “state of things.” Sadly, it’s as if we have become fixated on watching, with fewer and fewer of us actually taking action.

Regrettably it seems to be the case with many leaders too.

Why are “the best of the best,” not seeking outside guidance?  How can these leaders consider that a sound leadership approach?

Every individual must lead self (and others) to hers or his highest potential…a potential never achieved within the “vacuum of I.”

 

Do you know leaders who are living in the “vacuum of I?” If so, what can you do about it? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts.



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
“Ac·count·abil·i·ty “
Webster’s Definition: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. 

Many leaders approach “accountability” wrong!

For instance:

  • Many leaders see “accountability” as just a tool to make sure their workers are producing at the level they want them to produce.
  • Many leaders use a number of exercises to bring this about: Dashboards, Accountability charts or graphs, even “accountability meetings.”
  • Many leaders miss the fundamental and transformational point – high performance organizations (and individuals) don’t just talk accountability, they walk it…constantly!

Now, for those who get it right:

  • A few enlightened servant leaders understand accountability is not a tool, it is part of the foundation…part of the value system that everything is built upon. And it starts with them.
  • A few enlightened servant leaders focus first on holding the image in the mirror accountable before anyone else.
  • A few enlightened servant leaders understand leadership is an inside out process.  They get the fact that others will not practice healthy accountability unless they demonstrate how it is done. 

Make sure your inner world and outer world are in alignment. Hold yourself to a higher standard than those whom you serve. They will get caught in your updraft. 

Once you accomplish this, you will differentiate yourself by being one of the few who actually practice accountability, not just one of the many who preach it!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, 17 July 2013 19:45

Human Potential Realized

Note from the author: I wrote this a number of years ago - mostly as a journaling exercise to remember this experience. I wanted to share it now to hopefully inspire some of you who may be going through some tough times. You have what it takes to work through anything!

It was 20 degrees with freezing rain pelting the streets. At almost 8,000 ft. high in the mountains of Colorado ice storms are extremely rare. Colorado is usually blessed with dry powder and minimal ice…but not this night. Undetectable black ice covered everything. We later found out that the conditions were some of the worst ever experienced.

We were returning home from a Halloween party with our two children. The first slip on the ice coming out of the party was an early warning that the ride home would be challenging. We safely navigated the roads until we reached the top of the hill leading to our home. 

Nestled on a north facing slope, the road received the brunt of the ice storm before many other streets. It was truly like an ice skating rink. As we turned to descend the hill I put the car in its lowest gear and started to crawl towards home.

It's impossible to describe the terror I felt as the car began to slide sideways. While we were only going 2-3 miles per hour I was helpless to stop the car. Gravity pulled our family toward the 20 ft. embankment that dropped off from the road. The few seconds that it took to roll down that hill were the longest of our lives.

When my head cleared we were upside down. Immediately, my wife Kathryn and I were calling for the kids to make sure they were o.k. In retrospect, the level of calmness that we displayed was for a vital reason. The front part of the roof was crushed in so Kathryn and I had to crawl out of an opening that was only a foot high, the remnants of her door.

In these brief moments we all found out what we were made of. We marshaled personal courage and resources that we previously didn't know we possessed.

Our daughter Taylor, who was riding in the third row seat, miraculously freed herself from her upside down perch and crawled over the back seat to rescue her brother. While she was battered, bruised, and bleeding, her only thought was to get her much younger brother to safety. That she did.

In a heartbeat Kathryn was running through the frozen knee high grass to get to a neighbors house to call 911. She didn't seem to notice that her shoes had been knocked off in the crash. She felt no pain. Only later would she realize the level of agony that she must have endured as evidenced by her bruises and blood stained clothes.

I crawled around the car to reach the doors leading to our children. I grabbed the back door and pulled with all my might. I pulled so hard that the entire door handle came off in my hand. The door was crushed and would not open. I moved to the other door and again pulled with the strength that one would never normally possess. Again, the door handle came back with my hand…but this time the door opened with it.

In short order we were all huddled in the grass next to the car. We checked each other over.  We were miraculously spared any major injuries. While we were bruised - mentally and physically, we were blessed with the greatest gift of all - our lives.

I must admit as I write this that there are many emotions that I have had to revisit. Two major things are going to stick with me for the rest of my life. 

  •   Live each day to its fullest - carpe diem!
  •   Be thankful for all that you have…take the time to count your blessings.

I know that I do so now with zeal and gratitude as never before.

I am still amazed at the almost super human efforts that were demonstrated that night. This serves to inspire me in so many ways.

If we are capable of doing what may be perceived as "super human" feats in adrenaline packed situations, is there a way to tap into that potential? 

Believe me, I'm not advocating going through what we did. I am challenging myself (and hopefully you too) to dispel the self imposed limitations that may have shackled all of us. We are all capable of so much more than we may think. We possess a great deal more than our levels of confidence may be letting us demonstrate.

I was blessed enough to glimpse true human potential fulfilled. I am convinced that we are all capable of realizing our inherent greatness.

I kept one of the door handles to serve as a constant reminder of our blessings…and also what I am capable of. I now know more than ever what is possible!

QUESTION: What challenge have you overcome that would inspire others to hear about?  Please share a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

 


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