Wednesday, 10 July 2013 19:23

Change Yourself First

Leadership requires a wide range of skills, understanding, and awareness. And it starts with an objective personal assessment of all of these.

As we look to organizations, we do so with the understanding that in every organization there is a current “leadership lid.”  Nothing brings forward the current leadership’s lid as much as change does.

Leadership is often made or broken by the trials of experiencing change. Leaders rarely acknowledge the toll that leading change takes on them personally. The personal impact can be enormous.

Executives find a way to adapt to new business situations such as establishing a start-up, growing a business, negotiating mergers and acquisitions, downsizing, or restructuring. Yet many are ill equipped to deal with the obvious personal dimension of executive leadership, especially when faced with change. Thankfully, there are preparations that one can take to ensure success.

Before we embrace change we must look objectively at ourselves by asking some tough questions:

  • How do I limit the organization? 
  • Does my current view of my leadership team limit their progress?
  • What blind spots of mine are hindering the organization’s performance?
  • What personality characteristics of mine hurt the organization as it faces change?

Questions such as these are necessary to develop our own internal understanding of how well we will lead others through change. 

It is about nurturing our ability to get beyond our own set of thinking, which is based on experience…and may not be steeped in reality.

Stop and ask yourself: How well am I leading through change and what is the impact it is having on me personally?

A common assumption is that a leader can go through a “change” and not be affected by it. This is simply not the case. 

The rules of the game are uncertain and may have to be developed along the way. As the context and assumptions of the situation are changing, understanding and clarifying our habitual behaviors is critical. 

Factors such as mission, initiatives, goals, and priorities will ensure that the basis of the change is appropriate and that it does indeed solve the “right problems.” Many organizational changes are initiated based on false assumptions and understanding – our blind spots. These surface due to a lack of personal awareness.

A leader’s primary role must therefore be to test and validate that the changes will lead to an improved state…for all parties, not just themselves.

The leader that aspires to lead change must often be the first to be transformed in order to lead the change in question. He or she must also assess how their mind-set will have to be transformed by the very change that they are expecting others to experience. At an emotional and visceral level, they must be able to understand how this change will impact themselves before they attempt to lead others through it.

Leaders must have a strong sense of self-awareness prior to leading any change initiative. Knowing one’s strengths and constraints can create a conviction of informed optimism that can infect, motivate, and mobilize others. In contrast, those who plunge head long without a deliberate personal change plan will often find themselves questioning their abilities and commitment in the midst of the change…as will those whom they lead.

Identify your blinds spots and change yourself first in order to help lead others through change. It’s your duty as a leader.

To your continued success!

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©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Remember recent experiences of excitement and childlike joy with new experiences, such as with nature, traveling to a new country, or engaging a new idea.  

Mastery retains the spirit of our beginner’s mind, as we experience things in childhood with an openness, a first time freshness without preconceived ideas and developed notions influenced by others, when we were totally receptive to new information.  

One of the ultimate impediments to creativity is when a successful process becomes a paradigm, an established procedure. Subsequently, the paradigm and a lifeless set of techniques are followed that then move from new and vibrant to conformity and rote procedure.

The desire to fit into the needs or wants of others, to accumulate all the voices internalized from others, including parents and significant others without amalgamating and transforming them into your own voice creates conformity.

To consistently oppose positions or authority, to counter convention or rules, are an antithesis of mastery, as each embody an external point of reference.

Both opposition and conformity occupy the same prison.

Creating a new story can reengage that beginner’s mind.  We do that by remaining open, asking questions, embracing childlike excitement and playful approach, and thinking beyond words and limitations.  This creative reverie accesses preverbal and unconscious forms of mental activity that generates surprising ideas and creativity. 

We must sustain the risk of failing and the anticipation of being criticized in order to expand beyond the familiar and habitual way of thinking.  Hindrances to this process include a pressure to produce results, a need to generate profits, or a fear of inadequacy or non-productivity.  


A powerful sense of purpose and passion can sustain setbacks and failures.  A deep-rooted interest sustains the rigors of hard work to get to creative action.  It allows you to surpass doubters, critics, non-believers.  

Creative brainstorming, to allow imagination to soar, catalyzes imagination and intuition.  Deduction and logical thought are components of a different mindset, not to be interspersed with this creative time.  Each is valuable, yet each is a different state of mind, much like creative writing and editing. 

Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

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One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Our uniqueness is a seed planted at birth that seeks growth, transformation, and flowering to its full potential. This innate force, an intrinsic motivation to be effective, is the bedrock of our driving force as humans.

I have observed videos of direct infant observation studies by Psychoanalysts Virginia Demos and later Joyce McDougall showing that infants as early as three months old have an intrinsic desire to be effective in their environment. When they do, they experience pleasure at mastery. This fundamental motivation permeates everything we do, and extends for a lifetime.

When Albert Einstein was five years old, his father gave him a compass as a present. Its needle that changed directions as he moved the compass about instantly transfixed him. The idea of an invisible magnetic force touched him to his core. He would later wonder about other forces in the world similarly invisible and equally powerful. This simple question of hidden forces and fields became his life's work. He acknowledged often thinking back to the compass that sparked his initial fascination.

John Coltrane experienced spiritual and emotional longings that he did not know how to verbalize. As he drifted into music as a hobby, he played saxophone with his high school band. He later heard the great jazz saxophonist Charlie "Bird" Parker perform live. The sounds he heard touched Coltrane's primal core. Coltrane desired to find a way to effectively express his uniqueness to give voice to these deep emotions. As he focused on this form of expression, his personal mastery was to become one of the greatest jazz artists of his era, and of all time.

These are the kinds of discoveries that James Hillman speaks of in The Soul's Code as the spark that ignites a life calling.

At times we may disregard or lose touch with these signals from our central core. When we listen or we connect with this primal core, this visceral reaction resonates with our authentic self. Perhaps even a life's purpose.

At times, we may be attracted to a false path for the wrong reasons: conforming to directives from parents, social pressures of conformity, focusing on money, attention, or fame. We ultimately recognize this as an ersatz effectiveness, a false mastery. Results can include dissatisfaction, burnout, a sense that something is missing, or even a blatant resentment.

One of the common features of those who have become true masters is the awareness of experiencing the world differently than others and finding a way to express that uniqueness.


Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

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Part 2 - The Beginner's Mind from Dr. Krueger will be published next week.






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Thursday, 30 May 2013 17:00

My Mindset Stinks!

I excitedly retrieved my monthly auto magazine from the mail this afternoon.

For me, the contents usually represent nothing but eye candy, machines I will never have the opportunity to enjoy.

Until today that thought never really bothered me, but it is a sad, sad commentary on where I find myself…

My mindset stinks!  I suspect yours might too…

Here I am, someone others engage to help with their mindset – to lead them through the process of overcoming their self-created obstacles, which I do exceptionally well (he says humbly). I have a file full of amazing client success stories to validate this. Yet, I suddenly became aware that I was buying into a thinking small mindset—something that I help others work on each day. What???

As I looked through that magazine and felt the guilt, remorse, and disappointment of never actualizing some of my dreams, I realized that at present, I was not worthy of my dreams. Something had to change…and I knew it started with my thoughts.

While I know that my core is good, solid, dependable, and full of love and joy, I was not realizing my full self with this kind of thinking. I realized that I was going to have to think much bigger to support my dreams. I knew that I had to focus even harder on working from the inside out.

There was a time in my life where this was not the case…a time where I felt worthy of anything. I saw no barriers…only opportunities. How did I let that slip away?

It’s high time I find that mindset again.  Not only for me, but for those whom I serve as well.  I must be worthy of the faith and trust they have in me to assist them along their journey. I need to lead by example again.

Right now, my mindset is not worthy of my dreams.  I have a discipline level that is not worthy of my dreams.  With this awareness I know how to make the changes I need to.

Do you need to change your mindset? Are you playing small? Is it time to actualize your dreams?

I’ll be working extra hard to make sure the following quote won’t ever apply to me again.  Will you?

“Long before you reach the limits of your skills, you’ll come up against the limits of you!” – Pace Klein.

I now anxiously await next month’s issue knowing that my recalibrated mindset will view each page through a “possibility” lens.



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Monday, 06 January 2014 00:00

Coaching in the Workplace Training Program

It is with great pride that we announce our latest coaching program- Coaching in the Workplace™.

Click here to get more details.

Our goal has always been to help spread the amazing benefits of coaching in the workplace. This program takes tools and resources used by thousands of people in 36 countries, and packages them for use in any organization. This course represents many years of work perfecting tools that truly can help transform an organization.

This program is for executives, HR professionals, managers, and coaches. It is designed as a self study course that you can take on your schedule.

If your organization has any issues with turnover, absenteeism, employee engagement, or any other Human Capital related challenges, then this course is for you.

According to Gallop (and other leading survey firms) here are the workplace realities…which coaching, and this program specifically, can help with:

  • 75% of people wished they had a different job.
  • 51% of “A” workers are actively looking for a different job.
  • Worker productivity is only at 33%.
  • Lack of engagement costs U.S. businesses over $385 BILLION a year!
  • 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work.

Coaching can address all of these issues…in fact; it may well be the ONLY thing that can cure these workplace “ills.”

If you don’t have a coaching strategy in your organization, we can guarantee you one thing—these statistics will not go down…

Coaching is the “cure.” Isn’t it time you used coaching to focus on your most important asset…your people?

Click here to enroll or to get more details.




Thursday, 23 May 2013 10:58

Progress...Not Perfection

Do you spend a great deal of energy trying to make things perfect?

You can’t let go of this project until it’s perfect...

You can’t have this discussion until your comments are perfectly rehearsed...

You can’t move forward until you know how it will all play out... 

Really? 

How much of your energy is spent thinking, and re-thinking, about the action you want to take?  How much time are you wasting working toward perfection?

Has being perfect become an excuse for you? Perfection can move from a need, to a wonderful excuse for not moving forward, in the blink of an eye.  Lack of perfectionism isn’t about being lazy or doing things half way, it’s about understanding the natural progression some things take.  How are we possibly going to know how a situation will play out unless we make our first move?

If you are spending too much time analyzing and rehashing the situation, you are stuck in your thinking mind.  This loop will create zero momentum.   Step out of your thinking mind and connect to your higher vision...and take inspired action!

Inspired action is based upon trust. Trust in your instincts. Trust in your talent. Trust in the fact that everything will be o.k. Take action based upon knowing these things.

Our thinking mind, the one that loves perfection, can truly limit your grow---and success. Yes, you may fail at some things. Yet you will never have any chance of success unless you take action. Any action equals progress.

And remember, there is really no such thing as being perfect. Be perfectly happy knowing that.

To your continued success!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, 08 May 2013 19:15

Live Your Life From Your Eulogy Backwards

There’s an old saying- “An old man can see backward better than a young man can see forward.”

What can we learn from the old man? How does writing your own eulogy sound? Come on, stay with me on this…

How would your eulogy sound if you died today? “He had such promise.” “She wanted to be a senator, but...” “He dreamed of ___, too bad he died before he could do it.”

How would your perfect eulogy sound? What would your legacy be? How many lives would you want to have positively affected? Did you achieve the dreams you had when you were young? Did you fulfill your life’s purpose?

Stonewall Jackson said on his deathbed- “Let me cross the river and rest under the tree.” What would you most regret not doing before you “rested under the tree?” 

I submit that nothing, absolutely nothing, is stopping you from leading the life of your dreams but yourself!

We should all leave with no regrets. Wouldn’t it be better to try and (so called) fail then to regret not trying? How would it feel to leave a truly positive mark on the world before you go? Well, you can!

Here’s an exercise for you. Make a list right now of 10 things that you really want to do before you die. Yep, your bucket list…but with a higher purpose than things like “visit Toledo.” The list could include things as simple as “inspire one person” or as noble as “start a nonprofit foundation.” The key is to commit to something!

Now write your eulogy based upon this list. Think about how people would remember you. Yeah, this can get pretty raw and that’s the point. You need to face your current reality in order to change your course. Remember, it is never too late to work on fulfilling your dreams. Start today!

I’ve been using this eulogy exercise for many years to keep my goals fresh and to stay focused on my big picture - my life’s work. It forces me to slow down and take inventory of the trajectory of my life. I don’t want to wait to take inventory when I’m on my death bed. Do you?

One thing on my “list” is my mission to serve people through coaching. If I can inspire just one person to be a better leader and person I will have achieved my goal. Hopefully this article will help. My eulogy is counting on it!

May your real eulogy be a long time coming!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Friday, 19 April 2013 14:18

Are You Feeling Lost?

You kept reading after seeing that title for a reason. What is it?

Do you feel lost? Do you lack purpose? If so, you are not alone…

How many people do you know that jump out of bed each morning - completely excited about starting their day…focused on fulfilling their mission in life?

Not many, eh? Hmmm…how about yourself?

What is your mission in life?

Yes, it's a heavy question, but one worth asking yourself. Have you spent time thinking about what gifts you possess and how to utilize those gifts to the best of your ability? Or, are you just going through the motions each day? Could you possibly be one of the people who say- “I just want to make it through the day?”

Really?! Is that why we are put on this planet…to make it through the day?

Heck no!

As I work with organizations to formulate their long term strategic plans I am struck by what a great job we do in the corporate world regarding defining an organization’s mission, yet how little we do about this as individuals. In reality, what could be more important for us to figure out?

Think of what it would mean for you to know each day what you stand for and what your mission in life is. Take the time to explore what is important to you and use that knowledge to create the perfect path for yourself.

Here's the challenge - commit one hour this week to work on your mission. Just one hour. If you think this is too much to ask then you may well continue to be one of the lost…

Think about what you love to do. Think about the last time you were in “the zone.” What were you doing? When you start to focus on what brings you the most joy you will soon discover why you are here. It’s kind of funny how that aligns. 

Where there is passion, there is purpose!

Be patient with yourself. A person rarely discovers their mission in a lightning bolt fashion. It takes time and multiple iterations. It is not a linear process. Give yourself the space to let your mission reveal itself. Remember, it’s always been with you…you just haven’t let it emerge yet.

Post your thoughts below…share what you discovered. Who knows, you may provide great motivation for others to follow your lead. You could go from feeling lost to helping others discover their purpose. Who knows…that could be your mission! 

As you take ownership of your life you will discover that feeling lost is a choice, not your destiny.


©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.



Thursday, 04 April 2013 10:34

You Are Talking Yourself Into Failure!

It’s true. You may not know it. You may not want to own it. But it is true.

All of the following facts come from the scientific community; folks who study the brain. Here’s the reality:

  •     We have 60,000 thoughts a day.
  •     95% of these thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday.
  •     71% of these thoughts are NEGATIVE!

What???

The reality is…we are talking ourselves into failure!

YOU are your greatest foe.

YOU own your thoughts.

YOU can change them!

It’s all about awareness…

Here are some techniques to shift this destructive cycle:

  •     Own it! Say to yourself: “I own my thoughts, no one else.” This is a major shift which brings the power and ownership back to you. You, no one else, owns your thoughts. Look inside for the answers, not outside.
  •     Start acknowledging each negative thought you have. Stop (mentally) and soak in the thought. Don’t avoid it. Stuffing it back inside is like continually putting pop back into a bottle. At some point it is going to explode. The same will happen with you.
  •     Close your eyes (stay with me here, this really works). Imagine clouds floating in the sky. Now place your negative thought on a cloud. Send it good thoughts. Thank it for the awareness lesson it provided. Tell it you don’t need it any longer. Watch it drift away.

Try doing this for just one day. See how you feel. See if your thoughts start to change. If you keep this up you will DEFINTELY change your thoughts, which in turn leads to a change in your actions.

If you truly want to change your patterns of behavior you first have to change your thoughts. They are the building blocks for everything.

This negative self talk is your ego’s way of trying to keep you small. Don’t let it! YOU own your thoughts, not your ego. Take back ownership of them, and…

TALK YOURSELF INTO SUCCESS!

P.S. - If I see any of your words on a cloud I will make sure they continue on their journey.  ;-) 


Want to know more about Executive Coaching? Click here.



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Friday, 15 March 2013 18:20

How to Ace Crucial Conversations

We all know the kind of conversation I’m talking about.  The kind you would gladly trade for a root canal at your favorite dentist or that “routine” exam by your proctologist. Yes, anything but that conversation!

Most of us will wait until the emotion surrounding the conversation becomes so heated or toxic that when we do finally say what is needed, the true message is hidden in anger, frustration and disappointment.

What is the “true message?”

Is it a litany of the wrongs the person has committed?

Is it a list of everything the person didn’t do that they should have?

In other words, is the “true message” focused on how the person has failed in your eyes?

Unfortunately, usually the answer to all these questions is “yes,” when it should be a resounding “NO!”

A “crucial conversation” is nothing more than a powerful opportunity to convey our current concerns to someone whom we care for greatly.

Did you get that?  We have “crucial conversations” out of our intense caring for another – otherwise why expend the energy?

How much more effective might our conversation be if we perceive it not as a negative thing, but the opportunity for a “powerful conversation” with someone we care about?

How much more effective might our conversation be, if we didn’t shirk away and become complicit in the difficulty the conversation needs to address (because the less we say the more complicit we are)?

True servant leaders will hold a powerful conversation using these steps:

  • The night before the conversation write down all the reasons you care for the other person.
  • Then write down what the most positive outcome looks like – what would each of you walk away with?
  • Just before the conversation review #1 and #2, take three deep breaths, and smile.
  • Begin the conversation with something like “I wanted to meet with you today because I am very concerned about   you.” End the conversation with “Thank you for taking your time to meet with me today and thank you for being a part of this resolution.”
  • Follow up the conversation with some correspondence reaffirming your commitment to the person and the pathway agreed upon.

Take responsibility for having the right approach, and these “crucial conversations” will become a powerful interaction that benefits both parties.

*Find the classic book Crucial Conversations by Patterson, et al. here.



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