Although the types of addiction vary from sugar and shopping to alcohol and heroin, it is important to understand that the addictive behaviors themselves often have a root in the psyche or subconscious mind that is similar but unique for numerous people. Many times, people with addictions are filling some kind of emotional void or numbing unresolved or unhealed emotional traumas. Mindfulness and inner work can help you to understand where the addictive behaviors come from, whether they are an issue (for example, having a glass or two of wine on a Saturday night versus drinking two or more bottles a day all week long), and how to overcome them without as much risk of relapse and faster resilience if there is a stumble. The root cause of the behavior is what must be addressed, not the addiction itself, which is why many traditional treatments used to end up failing and people would relapse. Learning how to work on yourself from within is one of the most powerful ways to help yourself overcome many kinds of addiction. Read on to learn more about the inner work that will help you to let go of your addictions and embrace your true self.

 

Disclaimer: This article is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

 

Many people believe that addiction is something that you cannot possibly beat alone, but there is a different perspective to consider before setting such a hard limit upon the individuals who do suffer from addiction and don’t necessarily have a reliable support system to turn to. Or who have watched all of their old relationships fall apart due to codependency issues and now have to choose between well-earned personal freedom and codependency that nurtures an environment for relapse. Or maybe there are some toxic behaviors displayed by dysfunctional individuals and they actually purposely sabotage your progress in some way. No matter the situation, sometimes battling it out alone is the best thing you can do for yourself. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t ask for help if you need it or accept it if it’s offered, but the most important thing to remember is that you are the beginning and the end of your addiction.

 

You are the only person who is with you throughout your entire journey, from birth to death. No one else. So doesn’t it make sense that the root cause of your addictive behavior lies within you, a buried aspect of yourself that you are afraid of looking at directly because of the guilt and shame surrounding it? This is where inner work comes in, and you have to be determined and willing to feel all of your emotions, including fear and hatred and self-loathing. You must also be willing to love yourself completely, including those parts of yourself that you feel shame or guilt about and cover up with addictive behaviors.

 

Here are a few ways in which you may be able to help yourself overcome your addictions, mindfully and successfully.

 

1. Think of negative aspects of how your addictive behavior makes you feel, and positive aspects of how you feel when you are not tangled up in that addictive behavior. An example of this is when I quit smoking cigarettes. Rather than thinking about how much I missed it and how I missed the sensation, I would focus instead on how disgusting it was to have to hack up a bunch of nasty stuff all the time, constant stuffy noses, and my voice being too damaged to sing. Sure, the raspy voice is sorta sexy, but when I can’t even sing songs I wrote for my own voice, that’s pretty sad.

 

2. Listen to your body. When your pain levels increase (or your perception of the pain changes), it might be time to consider stopping the numbing. You may begin to notice that your pain actually increases after using any kind of substance to numb yourself, including alcohol and marijuana. While marijuana is much healthier for you overall and can be used for medicinal purposes, anything you use to numb your senses actually only numbs your perception of those senses, and when that perception becomes clear again, your pain seems worse than it was before. I think this is because your perception is remembering how bad the pain was before and at the same time longing for the numbness to come back, making it depressing as well as painful. Because we wear negative lenses while depressed and everything seems worse than it is, I think this has a lot to do with our perception of the pain and getting back to a “normal” sense of the pain we’re feeling rather than an over-inflated sense of it due to coming down from a substance.

 

3. Get to the root cause of your addictive behavior. Not all addictions involve outside substances, so the way your brain chemistry is altered during use of the substances creates the addiction, not the substance itself. Think about that for a minute. The substance itself doesn’t cause addiction; the way it alters your brain is what causes the addiction. That’s because addiction has to do with your prefrontal cortex and how your mind deals with cravings, rewards, and pleasure. If you were raised in an environment where you had to chase down attention or affection and love was very conditional, for example, you may fall prey to addictive behaviors because you’re tired of having to earn something you deserve no matter what (unconditional love from your parents in this example), and all that chasing is exhausting. Using a substance to keep yourself from caring enough to chase after that affection or simply feel good for no reason is the resulting solution. I think this is because we subconsciously know that we’re supposed to be joyful and happy, and when we can’t pinpoint what’s wrong in an easy way or a way in which we can avoid responsibility (or negative emotions toward people we care about), we turn to addictive substances or behaviors that make us feel good and give us that high, when really we should be connected to our souls and inspired from within most of the time, and that’s what we miss because on some level we remember that feeling. That example goes more into the spiritual realm, but both of these examples illustrate digging deep to figure out what the root cause of your addiction is, and knowing this allows you to be more understanding and compassionate toward yourself as you work through the self-healing process.

 

4. We’ve talked about substances, but not all addictions involve substances. There was a fantastic article in National Geographic magazine in October of 2017 about the brain science behind addiction, and many of the breakthroughs and cutting-edge ideas are due to incorporating mindfulness and neuroscience into their research. The human brain can re-wire itself through repetitive action, meaning you can overwrite any existing programming in your subconscious simply by replacing the habit and doing something else instead. This article featured a cure for addictions that involved sending electrical pulses to a certain part of the brain to suppress the craving center and disrupt that electrical energy flow within the brain, disrupting the addiction at the same time. Knowing this, it begins to become clear that you have all the power to change your behavior if you choose to accept it. But as they say, with great power comes great responsibility… this rings true on many levels, and this level is one of them. The more you choose to take responsibility for your own behavior and try to change it, the more your ego will fight you, and the more challenging your battle might become, at least temporarily. Or you can wait a couple of years for this electrical pulse treatment to come into the mainstream, but realize that you already have the power within your own mind to reprogram your behavior manually. It just takes more time and effort than some shocks to the brain.

 

5. Realize that your addiction is not you. You can also help keep yourself from perpetuating your addictive behavior patterns by referring to yourself differently. For example, rather than calling yourself a smoker in thought or conversation, begin calling yourself a non-smoker and keep referring to yourself in this way to re-condition your thoughts. Self-hypnosis and meditation are two ways in which you can also help yourself stay away from addictive behaviors, and you can create a custom positive mantra for yourself to affirm whatever it is you want to affirm based on your unique circumstances. You may also be able to find existing guided meditations or hypnosis recordings on YouTube, so it’s easy to begin to reprogram your own thinking in order to move forward and away from your addiction.

 

The goal isn’t to force yourself to abstain or feel like you’re fighting a constant uphill battle against an unseen enemy. This is the difficult method of doing things, and it leaves people rife for relapse, which is not a good thing no matter what type of addiction you’re dealing with. The real goal is to re-program your mind not to crave the thing you’re addicted to, to change the way it makes you feel entirely so that you can limit your indulgence to less desperate and more balanced levels. This is the way to get to the root of the problem and stop simply treating symptoms on the surface level. The best and most reliable way to lasting change is through the way you think and your perception of things. You don’t have to be what you’ve always been, and you don’t have to let an out of control habit define you as a person. You also don’t have to live in fear of being triggered all the time, as long as you go within and do the inner work necessary for true and lasting healing.

 

 

For more information about the Mindfulness Movement or the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:

http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement

As the New Year hits, most of us turn to recapping the year behind us, then setting goals for the year to come. Goals are fantastic as they help us set a direction. If you don't know where you are trying to go, how do you ever know if you get there?

When I think about resiliency as a goal, I think of being resilient as building a better foundation, so that we are more able to adapt, flex, and grow through the things life brings our way. Being resilient means demonstrating our ability to effectively and easily navigate our lives.

We have all heard the motto; "It is not what happens to us, but how we respond that matters." I am forever working to increase both my own and my children's level of resiliency. I want us to be prepared for those times when we may be knocked around, or even down. I want us to get back up, dust ourselves off, and have a reserve of energy to make what we want happen.

If you wish to take a look at your level of resiliency (or how well you bounce back), try taking a look at some of these aspects of your life.

• How healthy are the key relationships in your life?
• Are you able to nurture a positive view of yourself?
• Do you accept change as part of living?
• Do you see crisis as an insurmountable problem (perhaps it is part of our journey)?
• Do you know your goals and continue to move towards them by taking decisive action?

Try to slow your pace a little. Stop, look, and listen, so that you understand what is really happening vs. what story you have built around the situation. The story is not tangible but will drive our emotions and therefore our actions. Be deliberate in the things you focus on.

Resiliency is a great goal. With a little focus, you can build it and be a better person for having it.

All the best!

Find out more about Jenna here.

 

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© 2015 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

I am often confronted with the question “Why are you sending these blogs to me?  I’m not an executive!” from those non-business executives to whom I forward ECU blogs.  After all, we are the “Executive Coaching University”, so all our material is targeted only to those seen as business executives, right?  Wrong!

In my mind the term “executive” is more adjective than noun – it describes how someone approaches her life rather than who she is and is synonymous with “peak performer”…someone who desires to live life at the highest level possible.

An executive/peak performer:

• Executes – high level performers execute.  They engage the “Ready, Fire, Aim” process of prepare, take action, adjust action that creates greater amounts of positive energy and results, rather than the conventional “Ready, Aim, Fire”…recognizing the majority of people get stuck at “Aim” and never take the action needed.  Ever seen a mom or dad juggle one or more toddlers?  That’s as high performance execution as you will see in any boardroom or courtroom!

An executive/peak performer:

• Is inside-out focused – high level performers understand that our external environment mirrors our internal developmental level.  In other words, high level performers focus on themselves and drive towards their personal “A-game” rather than continuously looking outside of themselves for responsibility, accountability, and solutions.  Think of the slogan “An Army of One” – each individual piece striving to be at their peak, coalescing into a high performing group entity.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is gritty – high level performers seek out opportunities to cultivate grit, that mix of determination, passion, and perseverance that allows us to drive through obstacles.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is neuroscience savvy – high level performers understand how the brain and body work to create the results desired.  Without that knowledge we abdicate our creative power to the unconscious, habit and live our lives on auto pilot.

An executive/peak performer:

• Constantly seeks to self-improve – the high level performer understands that human beings are biologically designed for constant growth and change, yet psychologically drive towards homeostasis and comfort.  Therefore, high level performers continuously look for opportunities for growth and recognize the motivation for that growth must initially come from within.  They push themselves to “reach” as often as possible.

An executive/peak performer:

• Is anchored by values and integrity – the high level performer knows what they value and utilize those values as foundation for their decision making and actions.  Integrity is a cornerstone of the high performers psyche – they embody the saying “Always do the right thing, even if nobody else is looking.”

High level performers wear many different hats and hold many different roles within our society.  Yet, they share the characteristics outlined above. 

If you are reading this you are an executive regardless your official “title”! 

Welcome executive – now pass it on to your brother and sister high performers!

Find out more about Greg here.

 

Are you an executive/peak performer? Please tell us why below. 



This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

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© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

John F. Kennedy said: "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.”

It is only by being “in action” that we can create the results we want in life, including the creation of an extraordinary life experience and results.

What keeps you from taking action?  

Generally it's because you try to be reasonable. You think it through.  You stick your toe in the water.  You check out how others react.  All very reasonable steps to take and I'm certainly not advocating that you do dangerous things.  It's just that by being reasonable you run the risk of being distracted by events that have more enjoyment or short-term importance and you get off the track toward what you really want to create.

The shift to commitment!

When you are committed you deal with what's most important to you in your life.  As my young adult children would say … DUHHH!  It’s so obvious!  

For example, imagine knocking on a house door and getting no response, though you feel certain someone is home. You wait a reasonable amount of time, then leave.

Now imagine there is a raging fire being wind driven across the yard towards that same house.  Your urgency, your compassion and demand for a result is engaged.  You bang on the door while shouting, "Fire! Get out!"  Your level of commitment brings action that brings the occupants quickly to the door and their lives are saved.

But what if there is no emergency in your life? What if no external force shouts you into action consistent with your priorities? Then where does your commitment come from?  

Creating an extraordinary life requires a 100% commitment. Not 99%. 

In practice, 99% is the same as zero.  Only 100% commitment will actually bring you the results you want in life.  Find a purpose, vision and the actions that deserve a 100% commitment and your entire experience of life will change.  Helen Keller said “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  I suggest that her life is clearly a model of an extraordinary life we could all learn from.

A less serious metaphor is that a woman is either pregnant or not pregnant.  There’s no such thing as 99% pregnant.  In our lives, we are committed 100% or we are not.  There’s no “half committed.”

My commitment to you includes asking some pointed questions so that you can put these ideas into action:

• What are you committed to this month, this year, in your life?
• What life purpose or vision is so important to you that it engages you at physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels? 
• What promise would cause you to tingle with excitement and anticipation? 
• What idea would not let go of you until you figured it out? 
• What action would automatically bring forth overwhelmingly positive feelings of joy and satisfaction? 
• What commitment would mean so much that it would resonate within you at a very deep level; wake you up in the morning; engage you fully?

Comment and let us know of your commitments, your process and your results!  Doing so will help you get more clear, acknowledge yourself and inspire all of us!

Robert White is a Transformational Architect for business executives. Founder and CEO of Lifespring, ARC International and Extraordinary People, He’s an experienced entrepreneur, professional speaker, and leadership team trainer.


Want to learn more about gaining powerful leadership skills?

This program can help! Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

As business owners we are always looking for the edge. Many of us are looking for ways to get ahead of our competition, keep up with what our consumers demand, and create a viable workforce.

Most of us in labor intensive businesses would agree that one of the most challenging things we must find balance with is our people, or the human capital, in an organization. It has been said that any business problem is a people problem. That has never rung more true than now.

As Boomers are retiring rapidly, companies are seeking to backfill the positions vacated with the Gen Y population, or Millennials. They represent 25% of American workers, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. By 2020, that number will grow to more than 40%. The oldest members of the generation are turning 30 this year, the beginning of their most productive work years.

What is the problem? Millennials view the world differently than any previous generation before it.

Here are a few characteristics you may have noticed:

• They tend to be very socially conscious and expect their employer to be as well. I had a millennial client who recently left his management job where he made a good living, to go to work for a competitor for less money who was more in alignment with his personal beliefs and world views.
• Millennials ask a lot of questions and want to have a voice in the decision making process. They want to be working for more than the money.
• They are not afraid to make changes and can be somewhat impatient. They will make changes quickly if it serves their goals or if their employer seems disinterested in them.
• Recent studies indicate that Millennials favor smaller businesses. According to a 2012 report by Payscale, 47% of Millennials in the workforce are employed by small businesses of 100 or fewer employees and 30% for businesses of 100-500 employees. Only 23% work for larger companies and many are entrepreneurs.

Seeing how the average Millennial will have twenty jobs over their lifetime tells us we have to make some significant changes to how we hire and retain our best people. Some reports show that average turnover cost can be as high as $24,000 per person! Another thing to consider is that employers will be facing leadership gaps as the retirement of Baby Boomers continues. To develop those leaders, and retain them, companies must change their approach to hiring them. Potential employees are now interviewing companies as much, or more, than the companies are interviewing them.

Three tips to get you started:

• Get an outsider’s perspective of your current culture and identify where you need to improve and what you are already doing well. Hire someone with deep listening skills and business leadership experience for best results.
• Ask Millennials outside of your organization, and within it, what they look for and expect from an employer. If at all possible, craft your offerings around the answers you receive. For example: flexible work time, round table discussion groups, and adding value to the community (and the world) are three great places to begin.
• Don’t underestimate the importance of integrating soft skills training into your company culture. Coaching as a management style, along with encouraging authentic communication protocols, would be a great start that will resonate with the younger generation.

Annual turnover costs have been estimated at $416 billion in the U.S.  With turnover at an all-time high, this is decreasing efficiencies and shrinking profits. This can cripple a business on the edge and create long term issues for those currently doing well.

It is time to decide how we will accommodate the millennial generation in our businesses and develop the future with them. This is not just an HR issue that they can “figure out.”  It is a leadership issue that warrants being moved to the top of the “to do” list.



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

“Ac·count·abil·i·ty “
Webster’s Definition: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. 

Many leaders approach “accountability” wrong!

For instance:

• Many leaders see “accountability” as just a tool to make sure their workers are producing at the level they want them to produce.
• Many leaders use a number of exercises to bring this about: Dashboards, Accountability charts or graphs, even “accountability meetings.”
• Many leaders miss the fundamental and transformational point – high performance organizations (and individuals) don’t just talk accountability, they walk it…constantly!

Now, for those who get it right:

• A few enlightened servant leaders understand accountability is not a tool, it is part of the foundation…part of the value system that everything is built upon. And it starts with them.
• A few enlightened servant leaders focus first on holding the image in the mirror accountable before anyone else.
• A few enlightened servant leaders understand leadership is an inside out process.  They get the fact that others will not practice healthy accountability unless they demonstrate how it is done. 

Make sure your inner world and outer world are in alignment. Hold yourself to a higher standard than those whom you serve. They will get caught in your updraft. 

Once you accomplish this, you will differentiate yourself by being one of the few who actually practice accountability, not just one of the many who preach it!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Remember recent experiences of excitement and childlike joy with new experiences, such as with nature, traveling to a new country, or engaging a new idea.  

Mastery retains the spirit of our beginner’s mind, as we experience things in childhood with an openness, a first time freshness without preconceived ideas and developed notions influenced by others, when we were totally receptive to new information.  

One of the ultimate impediments to creativity is when a successful process becomes a paradigm, an established procedure. Subsequently, the paradigm and a lifeless set of techniques are followed that then move from new and vibrant to conformity and rote procedure.

The desire to fit into the needs or wants of others, to accumulate all the voices internalized from others, including parents and significant others without amalgamating and transforming them into your own voice creates conformity.

To consistently oppose positions or authority, to counter convention or rules, are an antithesis of mastery, as each embody an external point of reference.

Both opposition and conformity occupy the same prison.

Creating a new story can reengage that beginner’s mind.  We do that by remaining open, asking questions, embracing childlike excitement and playful approach, and thinking beyond words and limitations.  This creative reverie accesses preverbal and unconscious forms of mental activity that generates surprising ideas and creativity. 

We must sustain the risk of failing and the anticipation of being criticized in order to expand beyond the familiar and habitual way of thinking.  Hindrances to this process include a pressure to produce results, a need to generate profits, or a fear of inadequacy or non-productivity.  

A powerful sense of purpose and passion can sustain setbacks and failures.  A deep-rooted interest sustains the rigors of hard work to get to creative action.  It allows you to surpass doubters, critics, non-believers.  

Creative brainstorming, to allow imagination to soar, catalyzes imagination and intuition.  Deduction and logical thought are components of a different mindset, not to be interspersed with this creative time.  Each is valuable, yet each is a different state of mind, much like creative writing and editing. 

Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

---

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Our uniqueness is a seed planted at birth that seeks growth, transformation, and flowering to its full potential. This innate force, an intrinsic motivation to be effective, is the bedrock of our driving force as humans.

I have observed videos of direct infant observation studies by Psychoanalysts Virginia Demos and later Joyce McDougall showing that infants as early as three months old have an intrinsic desire to be effective in their environment. When they do, they experience pleasure at mastery. This fundamental motivation permeates everything we do, and extends for a lifetime.

When Albert Einstein was five years old, his father gave him a compass as a present. Its needle that changed directions as he moved the compass about instantly transfixed him. The idea of an invisible magnetic force touched him to his core. He would later wonder about other forces in the world similarly invisible and equally powerful. This simple question of hidden forces and fields became his life's work. He acknowledged often thinking back to the compass that sparked his initial fascination.

John Coltrane experienced spiritual and emotional longings that he did not know how to verbalize. As he drifted into music as a hobby, he played saxophone with his high school band. He later heard the great jazz saxophonist Charlie "Bird" Parker perform live. The sounds he heard touched Coltrane's primal core. Coltrane desired to find a way to effectively express his uniqueness to give voice to these deep emotions. As he focused on this form of expression, his personal mastery was to become one of the greatest jazz artists of his era, and of all time.

These are the kinds of discoveries that James Hillman speaks of in The Soul's Code as the spark that ignites a life calling.

At times we may disregard or lose touch with these signals from our central core. When we listen or we connect with this primal core, this visceral reaction resonates with our authentic self. Perhaps even a life's purpose.

At times, we may be attracted to a false path for the wrong reasons: conforming to directives from parents, social pressures of conformity, focusing on money, attention, or fame. We ultimately recognize this as an ersatz effectiveness, a false mastery. Results can include dissatisfaction, burnout, a sense that something is missing, or even a blatant resentment.

One of the common features of those who have become true masters is the awareness of experiencing the world differently than others and finding a way to express that uniqueness.


Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

I excitedly retrieved my monthly auto magazine from the mail this afternoon.

For me, the contents usually represent nothing but eye candy, machines I will never have the opportunity to enjoy.

Until today that thought never really bothered me, but it is a sad, sad commentary on where I find myself…

My mindset stinks!  I suspect yours might too…

Here I am, someone others engage to help with their mindset – to lead them through the process of overcoming their self-created obstacles, which I do exceptionally well (he says humbly). I have a file full of amazing client success stories to validate this. Yet, I suddenly became aware that I was buying into a thinking small mindset—something that I help others work on each day. What???

As I looked through that magazine and felt the guilt, remorse, and disappointment of never actualizing some of my dreams, I realized that at present, I was not worthy of my dreams. Something had to change…and I knew it started with my thoughts.

While I know that my core is good, solid, dependable, and full of love and joy, I was not realizing my full self with this kind of thinking. I realized that I was going to have to think much bigger to support my dreams. I knew that I had to focus even harder on working from the inside out.

There was a time in my life where this was not the case…a time where I felt worthy of anything. I saw no barriers…only opportunities. How did I let that slip away?

It’s high time I find that mindset again.  Not only for me, but for those whom I serve as well.  I must be worthy of the faith and trust they have in me to assist them along their journey. I need to lead by example again.

Right now, my mindset is not worthy of my dreams.  I have a discipline level that is not worthy of my dreams.  With this awareness I know how to make the changes I need to.

Do you need to change your mindset? Are you playing small? Is it time to actualize your dreams?

I’ll be working extra hard to make sure the following quote won’t ever apply to me again.  Will you?

“Long before you reach the limits of your skills, you’ll come up against the limits of you!” – Pace Klein.

I now anxiously await next month’s issue knowing that my recalibrated mindset will view each page through a “possibility” lens.



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

It is with great pride that we announce our latest coaching program- Coaching in the Workplace™.

Click here to get more details.

Our goal has always been to help spread the amazing benefits of coaching in the workplace. This program takes tools and resources used by thousands of people in 36 countries, and packages them for use in any organization. This course represents many years of work perfecting tools that truly can help transform an organization.

This program is for executives, HR professionals, managers, and coaches. It is designed as a self study course that you can take on your schedule.

If your organization has any issues with turnover, absenteeism, employee engagement, or any other Human Capital related challenges, then this course is for you.

According to Gallop (and other leading survey firms) here are the workplace realities…which coaching, and this program specifically, can help with:

• 75% of people wished they had a different job.
• 51% of “A” workers are actively looking for a different job.
• Worker productivity is only at 33%.
• Lack of engagement costs U.S. businesses over $385 BILLION a year!
• 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work.

Coaching can address all of these issues…in fact; it may well be the ONLY thing that can cure these workplace “ills.”

If you don’t have a coaching strategy in your organization, we can guarantee you one thing—these statistics will not go down…

Coaching is the “cure.” Isn’t it time you used coaching to focus on your most important asset…your people?

Click here to enroll or to get more details.