Sometimes this feeling is due to lack of alignment with the task at hand, but more times than not it is really about my ego. When I fall into a place of needing to prove myself to someone (ego) I approach things in a completely different fashion. There is an overwhelming feeling of struggle, like everything is hard…even things that usually come with ease in my life. When I get this feeling I know my ego is having its way.
Our ego is a powerful part of us and one that may be running the show during the greater part of our day. Over time we become comfortable with our ego. At times it does help us in some ways, like an old friend. I know personally as I moved through the ranks into senior management I relied heavily on my ego to prove myself over and over again with great success. When there is a part of us that feels so powerful, it is difficult to recognize, much less move away from it. Yet to truly succeed in life, we have to learn to tame it.
Having been an executive coach for well of over 10 years, I have seen the destructive power of the ego at play constantly with my clients. There is a great reliance on our ego (especially in business), but at what cost? Leading with our ego leads to more stress, more concern for ourselves vs. others, and ultimately, diminishment of whom we really are.
What are we avoiding by letting our ego take center stage?
When I find myself in the place of struggle where large amounts of energy are being exerted on what makes me look good in the eyes of another, it’s time to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. I ask myself- “What is the root cause of my actions? What am I afraid of?” With these questions I can slow myself down and move into a more powerful place of asking- “What are my intentions? What is really important in this situation?” Usually I come up with the true spirit of why I am involved in this situation and what my role in achieving the best possible outcome really is. The answers do not come from my ego.
While our ego can be a friend and ally at certain times, its role is to be one of support not detriment. We need to gain enough awareness to be able to let it emerge only when necessary and useful. When we stay too long in our ego we create distance from the true essence of who we are and how we want to contribute.
Try this- for one week check your ego at the door and ask yourself- “How may I best serve this situation or person?” Using this technique keeps the ego at bay and your higher self at the forefront...and will rejuvenate your life!
What have you got to lose…except your ego?
To your continued success!
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