The topic of communication can be a daunting one, especially when you get down to what’s valuable versus what isn’t. Too often, we make the mistake of thinking that communication means being a good talker, when that is the furthest thing from the truth. Although the talkers may demand attention by default, it doesn’t mean that their communication skills are up to par. With that said, the question arises: what is communication?
There are a handful of important differences between talking and communicating. When you choose to be a mindful leader, part of your goal is most likely to ensure that your communication skills don’t revolve around being able to say the most words or make things sound complicated. We’ve all known people who turn a five-minute point into a half-hour lecture or use eclectic words that most people don’t know the meaning of (and sometimes these talkers don’t know the meaning themselves and use those words incorrectly).
As they say, don’t be like that guy!
The Five Pillars of Mindful Communication
Now that you get the idea of what communication is not, let’s take a look at what mindful communication is.
1. Balance your talking with listening. There’s an old saying from Greek philosopher Epictetus that goes, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Be interested in the other person’s input and opinions. Pay attention to their words, but also the meaning behind them. Most of all, actually listen; if you’re fiddling with your phone, interrupting, or speaking over the person, chances are they won’t enjoy talking with you and you’ll lose your audience.
2. Be genuine. People can sense it when you’re doing something out of duty or are actually, truly interested in what they have to say. This is the difference between ego and empathy.
3. Don’t be afraid to get personal. People love to get to know each other and exchange stories, and if you have a personal experience that is appropriate for the conversation, it will make more of an impact on people emotionally.
4. Be concise. Time is our most precious commodity and is not a renewable one, making it extremely valuable. Keep what you need to say short, to the point, and simple. This ensures that you capture interest but don’t get on anyone’s nerves by rambling.
5. Value other people. Everyone has value as well as a unique and individual perspective to offer. An excellent mindful leader can make even the most timid member of his or her team speak up with a contribution. Sometimes all it takes is for that person to feel like their input is valued.
Of course, there’s much more to communicating than these five things.
The good news is that March is communication month! Think of this article as an introduction to this month’s overall topic of mindful communication. Each week, check back on The Mindful Leader Blog for tips on communicating well. Learn how to use your communication skills to be your best self, for you, as well as for those around you.
And remember... two ears, one mouth ;).
