We would probably all agree that lying is wrong. But what happens when situations present themselves that seem like they need a white lie – or a lie of omission, even – to get everyone to keep going and stay on course for their goals? Is it okay to tell a small lie for the right reasons? Sometimes it may seem that way, but what about the consequences of that lie, no matter how small? Can anyone justify sacrificing all of the trust they’ve earned by throwing a lie of any kind into the mix?
As a mindful leader, your credibility and the way people perceive you are based on what kind of person you have proven yourself to be. If you’ve been genuine and proven that you care as well as have a strong sense of right and wrong, they probably trust in you as well as your leadership. However, that trust can be unraveled in a moment if a lie escapes your lips, no matter how small or seemingly innocent that lie might be.
So, what are some of the consequences of lying, even if it seems like a lie with a positive purpose? You might be surprised at the repercussions of a small lie, but lies tend to catch up with us no matter what the intention was behind them.
Five Negative Consequences of a White Lie
1. Your own ethics and moral fiber are compromised. This is like a betrayal of self… how can you trust yourself if you know you’re capable of lying to others? Does that make you capable of lying to yourself? Suddenly you aren’t sure whether you can even rely on your own thoughts anymore, and that’s very disconcerting. How can you show that you truly care for others if you aren’t willing to be honest about the little things?
2. Your emotional growth stops. When you tell lies, white or otherwise, your own emotional growth is stunted because you don’t go through the healthy challenges of being honest when it’s uncomfortable. Remember: growth begins at the end of your comfort zone, so don’t strive to be comfortable… strive to be excellent and help others do the same.
3. Your lie turns into a web. Lies have a way of catching up with you, so you may find yourself telling more and more lies to cover up the first lie, and before you know it, your entire world comes crashing down around you. Not only is this stressful, it can spiral out of control and completely destroy your reputation, credibility, and trustworthiness… in some cases, even your entire career.
4. Sparing someone’s feelings isn’t always best for them… or you. A white lie especially is something that usually helps spare someone’s feelings in the moment, but every time you tell someone a small lie, you’re actually robbing them of an opportunity to grow and improve as a person. The key to telling the truth without destroying someone’s feelings is to be tactful about it. For example, if someone comes to you with a partially finished project to get your input and you find that you absolutely hate it, take a step back. Look at it one or two more times and take a few minutes to come up with a thoughtful response that will help them improve it. Use the critique sandwich (compliment, critique, compliment), several times if needed.
5. People’s trust in you is suddenly questionable. Not only from their perspective – they can’t trust you as much as before – but also from your own perspective, which can make you a little paranoid and guarded. Do people still trust me? Oh, they don’t, so that’s why so-and-so said this-and-that to my supervisor…. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Why not save yourself all that trouble and simply be honest? Yes, it may be uncomfortable sometimes, but momentary discomfort sounds much more appealing than all of the aforementioned consequences of lying. All the keeping track of which lie you told whom… so complicated! Not to mention a waste of your time and energy. I’m sure that you have much more important things to take care of, so go focus on those… not on avoiding momentary discomfort.
