Sometimes the pieces just don’t seem to fit together, but as a mindful leader, you probably have some experience with helping people to work together as opposed to butting heads on a regular basis. People not getting along can have a plethora of reasons, but those aren’t important unless it’s a brand new development. If you find that two of your people are clashing on a regular basis, it’s quite possible that they simply have opposite personalities. Your job is to show each side the harmony they can create by working together and complementing each other, while also inspiring them to want to do so.
The One-Upper
Pretty much everyone has encountered someone like this in their lives. So, you got a promotion? This coworker will claim to be in the running for CEO. Your team’s design was chosen for a project? If they were on the team, they will claim it was mostly their doing.
This type of person is everywhere, not just in the workplace. Rather than getting too annoyed, it’s important to understand that the one-upper likely knows they aren’t the best thing since sliced bread. Instead, they are trying to convince themselves that they have self-esteem and confidence even though they don’t (fake it till you make it, right?). It’s sort of like a coping mechanism; unfortunately, a lot of the things this type claims aren’t true, which is a slippery slope to be on as far as trust is concerned.
So, how do you shut down the obnoxiousness without causing problems or being too harsh? Offer a different perspective… or offer to help. If you’re leading them, offer to put their skills to the test with a special project or assignment. If they succeed, they will begin to feel more genuinely confident, which will help to begin to negate the constant need to tell everyone that they’re better than the rest. If they fail, there’s no need to rub it in; however, the experience will teach humility as well as making them think about putting their money where their mouth is, so to speak. The next time, they’ll know what to do and are likely to work harder for that win.
The Quiet One
Rather than claiming to be better than everyone else, this type of personality would rather not share their accomplishments, no matter how impressive those might be. They might even be worried about asking for help or bringing up any issues or problems they can’t seem to troubleshoot on their own. However, if they have some time to think alone in a quiet space, there’s a good chance that they will come up with some great new ideas.
Though they don’t like unnecessary attention, these introverts can be an enormous asset when given a chance. It’s likely that they work better on their own, usually with their door closed and some music playing. If they don’t speak up at a meeting, they’ve probably been busy taking notes and thinking about whatever task is at hand to get a jump start on what they have to do.
No matter what you do as a mindful leader, don’t try to change people. That’s almost impossible to do, even though it tends to be our first instinct when we come across people who aren’t like us. With the quiet type, it’s better to give them their space and check in every so often to see if they need anything or have any questions, and absolutely do that in private so they don’t feel like they’re being put on the spot.
No matter what types of people you’re dealing with, remember that everyone has a purpose to serve, and chances are that their flaws are minor compared to what they bring to the table… sometimes what they bring to the table is just a little trickier to gain full access to. On that note, keep leading mindfully!
