Sometimes we’re faced with life circumstances that may just seem like a string of bad luck or a series of unfortunate events. In this case, there may not be anyone to blame and there may not even be anyone to take responsibility for what’s happening; not without taking on responsibility that isn’t even their own. If this is the case, it can seem like life is out to get you, you may feel like you’re cursed, or you may even feel like your higher power is against you. Although this isn’t unnatural, it definitely isn’t healthy to get stuck there, so let’s take a look at how you can let go of challenging circumstances and reframe your mindset to attract better circumstances rather than dwelling on hardship and therefore attracting more hardship.
A big part of the reason why this specific type of forgiveness is so vital is because, when there’s no one to blame or take responsibility, it tends to instill a sense of powerlessness and victim mentality because we feel like we are at the mercy of life and the universe. The truth is that, in some circumstances, there just simply isn’t anything we can do, which tends to drive people a little crazy with worry and fear. In these cases, we tend to adopt the attitude of, “well, when life stops screwing me over, then I’ll stop worrying.” This thinking is backwards when you look at it from the perspective of law of attraction – the external world changes after we adjust our own emotional state of being, not the other way around, which is why the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer, as the most obvious example.
It all starts within, which can be easier said than applied because – let’s be honest – it can be challenging to adjust your emotional state when everything around you seems to be falling apart. However, the more attention and emotional energy you give to the worry and anxiety about a situation, the more the situation will expand to give you more of the same energy, essentially reflecting your attitude back to you in the physical world.
Here are a few tips to help you adjust your emotional state so that you can begin pulling yourself out of whatever challenging life circumstances you may find yourself in and get back to being productive and happy from within.
1. Remember that you don’t have control over anything outside of yourself; you only have control over your own thoughts and state of being. This makes it easier to discern between what is worth worrying about and what isn’t. Even if something is “worth” worrying about, giving it more than a few seconds of thought actually does more harm than good, so rather than actively worrying about something, try letting it go and just make the decision to stay open and alert to opportunities that come your way that are solution-oriented for your particular situation.
2. If it’s no one’s fault, stop looking for someone or something to blame. Instead of focusing on whose fault something is, you can actively work through your stages of acceptance about the issue and let it go. Sometimes these problems will work themselves out in surprising ways. As an example, a few months ago I was working as a waitress at a local restaurant, and I’d received a letter stating that some of my personal information may have been compromised by an identity thief. I had nothing to my name, so I didn’t worry about it because there was nothing I could do. After my first two weeks of working, I was expecting my first direct deposit, but my bank closed my account the day before and I ended up just cashing a paper check, thinking how lucky it was that the timing was so perfect because it also alleviated my worries about the little money I did have ending up stolen. I simply opened a new account at a bank that was closer to where I lived anyway, and that was that. I never heard another word about it. Funny how things work out, right?
3. Any life circumstances that you are facing are meant to teach you something about yourself and your life (and how to live it in ways that best serve you and your divine purpose). They are also meant to lead you from one step to the next and to the next, in order to get you to wherever it is you’re going. Watching life unfold with a sense of curiosity and eagerness to learn feels much better than worrying, resisting, and inadvertently creating more trouble for yourself. The more attention and emotional energy you give to the negative stuff, the more it will grow and present itself within your life.
4. Forgive your life circumstances and let go of whatever resentment and feelings of being cursed you may have. The universe always says, “Your wish is my command,” so yes is the answer across the board. The thing is that you have to know what you want (for most of us it’s simply happiness, love, and freedom) and direct your emotional state of being to feel that way in advance so that you are able to receive more of the things that will support this emotional state. If you feel like life is against you, the higher power you believe in is against you, or the world is against you, then you will receive more of the circumstances to “prove” that as being the truth. Once you can understand this, it becomes more important to focus on how you’re feeling and make sure you do what you have to for yourself in order to cultivate happiness and peace within so it is reflected in your outer world.
5. Develop stronger faith in your journey. You don’t have to focus on religion or deities to utilize the power of faith – just believe in your life and yourself, and trust in your own ability to figure things out even if the solutions aren’t obvious at first. I like to think of it as an incubation period... everything I need will find me in the exact, perfect timing that will serve my life for the absolute greatest good. This mindset alone has opened me up to receiving various miracles in my life, some big and some small, and mindful self-awareness has allowed me to see the seemingly magical connections throughout my life and reverse engineer my “evidence” that this truly works if you commit to it and allow the laws of the universe to work for you rather than you stubbornly pushing against them (like most of us tend to do at first because we like to be right and gather evidence that we are).
Knowing these things can help you to reframe your mindset and begin focusing on more positive aspects of your circumstances so that you no longer give the negative aspects all the power. Working toward acceptance and letting go of your need for control will allow life’s amazing opportunities to flow to you much more easily. Forgiving your life circumstances is part of the process of getting there, and rather than being angry or depressed about things, try to stay focused on productivity, happiness, and keeping the faith in your journey and your amazing ability to figure things out. We all have an incredible ability to solve problems and be innovative when we need to be; training yourself to tap into this faith will organically grow your level of confidence and allow you to move through challenges much more quickly.
Thanks for joining us here on the Mindful Leader Blog! I hope that you’ve found this month’s articles about forgiveness useful, and that you will join us in December for more on mindful leadership practices.
To learn more about the Mindfulness Movement and the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:
http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement
