Many of us were raised to believe that showing emotions is equivalent to weakness, unacceptable, or otherwise something to be ashamed of (there’s that subconscious conditioning again!). In reality, this is the furthest thing from the truth. You may have heard someone say, “Vulnerability is strength,” before, and this applies here perfectly because being vulnerable requires that you also be completely genuine and sincere in your moment to moment life as well as in your dealings with others on your journey. These things that we are told continuously as children tend to ferment within our subconscious minds and wreak havoc later on during our adult lives as they manifest in issues such as a lack of empathy, constant numbing-out of emotions through drugs or alcohol, or other ailments or types of dis-ease that affect the emotions as well as the physical vessel. Science is finally beginning to understand just how much emotions affect the physical body, and like most types of scientific discoveries, it will find its way into the mainstream sooner or later and become household knowledge, like gravity or the earth being round. In the meantime, I’d like to invite you to continue reading and allow me to share some ideas and insights about how to nurture your emotional wellbeing so that you can thrive on all levels during your physical lifetime.
Your emotional guidance system is exactly that: a system. As a system, it needs maintenance and upgrades occasionally, as well as the release of excess emotional energies that may bog it down and subsequently cause damage to the human body. And here comes the question: how do you maintain and update your emotional system? It looks much different—and much more involved—than the hands-off updates we receive from time to time for our computers. However, take a moment to imagine everything that’s going on beyond the screen when these computer updates happen. Old programs are being deleted to make room for new ones, which are then scanned for threats and installed, giving the entire system an improvement upon the old system. Now, rather than looking at a screen, picture your mind, body, heart, and spirit as the inside of the computer… and you may as well be looking in a mirror.
This work that goes on within is very much up to you to practice, and no one on the outside of you will really understand what’s going on or how amazing it feels to be given a glimpse behind the curtain. Like staring at a blank computer screen as it updates, the people around you will see your exterior and they may recognize that something is changing, but they won’t know what to make of it because they can’t see inside you, just like you can’t see inside your computer.
With that being said, I’d like to introduce you to a few inner work concepts that can help you to maintain and update your emotional system. Some of it is challenging work; not in the sense of physicality, but emotionally challenging. You may uncover things about yourself or your life that you weren’t prepared for, and you will need to be comfortable with emotional releases such as crying or going for a brisk walk or run to blow off some anger. These are practical ideas for you to explore so that you can clear any blocked energies your vessel may be harboring and upgrade your system.
- Guided Meditation
Guided meditation is effortless as it holds your focus a little bit but also allows you to use the power of your subconscious mind to raise your vibrational frequency—also known as feeling better emotionally—by speaking affirmations or ideas to you based on what you want to focus on. For example, you can find meditation audio on YouTube completely free, and it goes into specifics such as attracting more money, having more positive energy, and many more. Some are longer than others, so set aside some time when you won’t be disturbed and can sit quietly with headphones on and meditate. You will likely find that you feel refreshed and recharged after meditation, and you may even begin to get a really good idea for something and feel inspired. Take advantage of that inspired feeling and do what you’re called to do.
- Self-Hypnosis
Like guided meditation, you can find self-hypnosis sessions on YouTube, and all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. These are similar to guided meditation but will tap into your subconscious a bit more through visualization, deep breathing, and relaxation exercises. They may even utilize certain sound frequencies that correspond to various brain waves to “hack” into your subconscious, so to speak. All this means is that your subconscious mind is more likely to pick up on the message and adopt it through repetition. Self-hypnosis can also be used to travel backwards in your memories and heal an emotional trauma in your childhood, which is the next inner work concept.
- Healing Your Inner Child
Going back to painful memories and rehashing them won’t solve anything, so go in with some kind of plan or method of changing the situation if at all possible. Many of us have experiences as children that are traumatic on an emotional level. Those things that seem like nothing to someone outside of yourself (or so it seems) but feel like the end of the world inside? Those are the things I’m talking about. Adults can be insensitive when it comes to dealing with children, and those children who are empathic or very sensitive can be greatly affected by this type of trauma, so much so that it leaves scars that affect them emotionally throughout their entire lives. To prevent this from happening, it’s up to you to go within and begin healing yourself.
- Somatic Experiencing
Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a form of therapy that works with people who have had difficulty overcoming trauma such as PTSD. By paying attention to where within the body the traumatic event has left its mark, you can allow your nervous system to cycle through the entire trauma cycle all the way to resolution or empowerment. Human beings often interrupt this process or cycle in one way or another, so the trapped electrical impulses in the nervous system can wreak havoc on the body after a traumatic event. By working with a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, you can release traumas from your past experience and begin to heal from them effectively. Like any of the other types of inner work listed, this one will also take repetition, but you should be able to feel a difference after a first session.
- Shadow Work
As ominous as this sounds, it really just means that you look at your faults, mistakes, regrets, pain, depression, and fear without judging or resenting anything, but rather to soften your perception of it and forgive yourself as well as releasing any leftover emotions you may have about the experience you’re focusing on, especially guilt and shame. This can be accomplished through meditation, journaling, talking about it with someone who is aware of what you’re doing, or any other method of exploring your inner landscape that you might prefer. Working in the shadows of your psyche can bring out a lot of so-called negative emotions, which aren’t good or bad by themselves, but they need to be released somehow, so crying, screaming, or going for a run might help facilitate that. Beware of trying to do too much of this at once, because as this purging of emotions happens, you may find yourself getting overwhelmed by those very emotions. The key is to stay there with them. Feel them, allow them to run their course, and breathe deeply. If you have been meditating, this would be a good time to utilize your ability to quiet your thoughts as these thoughts are probably keeping you trapped in a negative thought loop about something or another in your life. Getting those thoughts to calm down, feeling the painful or unpleasant emotion and not thinking anything about it at all (non-judgment), and then relaxing into the relief on the other side of this inner work experience is one method of how you can heal yourself on an emotional level.
Your emotional system needs to be purged of its excess energies sometimes as well, so if you have an argument with someone, for example, and you go for a walk to blow off steam while they don’t, then all of the emotions they had during the argument will still be festering and lurking within their physical body system, stuck there like there’s a kink in a garden hose. It’s important to release these pent up emotions and dilute the chemicals released by your brain for any extreme emotion, especially the ones that are caused by unwelcome or uncomfortable things happening. Whatever method you have for releasing your emotions or expressing something with them, practice it any time you need to in order to maintain your emotional system’s efficacy. When we humans break down after years of neglecting our own wellbeing on an emotional level, it can manifest as all manner of personality disorders, issues, and even physical symptoms and illnesses. The best way to avoid this is by learning to manage the system before it breaks down to that point. This will help you to maintain overall wellbeing on many levels, and you’ll find yourself with more energy and enthusiasm without even trying to do anything except live your life.
And isn’t that the whole point: living a happy life? The most sought-after commodity isn’t a lot of money or fast cars. The things all human beings crave and want and chase after the most are happiness and love, and when you realize that you can’t chase love or happiness out there but that it comes from within, it’s a state of being that you can practice intentionally, that’s when you’re ahead of the curve and can really begin to thrive on all levels.
I hope that this article helps you to learn more about your emotional system and how it can impact every aspect of your life. These are enormously complex and deep topics, so I recommend that you learn more about what you’re drawn to so you become familiar with it and can begin implementing it. Please join us next week for a new article about nourishing your spirit and creativity.
For more information about the Mindfulness Movement or the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:
http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement
(Disclaimer: If you have any health concerns, doubts, or unease about any of the aforementioned inner work exercises, you may want to do your research and learn what you can about each one before attempting to practice on your own. In many cases, it may be best to consult with a coach or specialist within these fields to make sure you are accomplishing what it is you set out to accomplish with these exercises. Because this is intangible inner work, you are the only liable party, so be aware that any resurfacing of negative emotions you may have belong only to you and are not an actual threat unless you label or perceive them that way.)
