It seems that when we think about “outer circumstances,” it almost has a negative connotation to it. However, outer circumstances can be anything, and one of the main ideas behind mindfulness is getting to a point where your external circumstances don’t have an effect on your energy, mood, or ability to function. This sounds like a logical and reasonable practice—common sense, even—but when it comes to actually putting it into practice, we have to first recognize what's happening behind the scenes and understand how it’s all connected. The sooner we begin to recognize and understand that we are responsible for creating our own outer circumstances, the sooner we can learn how to change those circumstances for the better through inspired action. In today’s article, I’d like to discuss some of the connections and revelations you may experience, as well as why sometimes seemingly negative external circumstances are actually in place for your greatest benefit, all in divine timing.
Abraham-Hicks talks about being ready to be ready to be ready, which is their way of describing the linear process that we undergo during life changes. In this physical reality, we typically experience things in this linear fashion, even though all possibilities exist eternally as well as within each moment. Quantum physics is discovering scientific evidence to confirm this idea, as well as the idea of the law of attraction and each of us being co-creators of our physical experience here on earth. Just by becoming aware of our reality (observing), we can begin to influence it and direct our experiences. To see the scientific experiment that implicates this, please look up the double slit experiment, as seen in the movie What the Bleep Do We Know?
Knowing this, it becomes more understandable, believable, and acceptable to take responsibility for the co-creation of our own experience. This is not as simple as just taking care of the superficial aspects of living in today’s western society such as paying bills and buying groceries, as much as we like to fool ourselves into thinking so. There is a continuous, constant flow and exchange of energy occurring from one moment to the next, whether you believe it or not. The frequency of this energy varies depending on each individual’s inner state of being and the wellbeing of their body and emotional systems, which are all connected. Each of us is responsible for that part: what we bring into the world each moment from within the core of our being, at the energetic level.
Here comes the hard part: the acceptance and allowing of what is to be what it is, without resistance to it on an energetic level. Fear, lack, control, anger… all of these are resistant to what is, and there are some periods in life where letting go and allowing things to run their course is the best option. When there’s nothing you can do about it, stop trying to find things to do about it and focus on your own wellbeing, happiness, and emotional frequency. You do this by meeting your own needs, both internally and externally, as much as possible. Sometimes other people will show up to help you, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. Opportunities also begin to reveal themselves, but not if you’re in a state of panic or anxiety; the opportunities will still try to show up, but you won’t be open to receiving them. These states don’t help you to focus, and when life gets chaotic, focus is key, and whatever you focus on grows. So, if you’re obsessively thinking in circles about a problem that you’re having and you don’t know how to slow those thought loops down and stop their momentum, then the problem you’re having will appear to get worse, bigger, and even more insurmountable.
WE are each individually responsible for managing our thoughts so that this particular system (the mind suffering from uncontrolled thought loops) doesn’t run your entire body system into the ground by perpetuating unchecked emotions.
Actions speak louder than words, and that includes re-actions. The best way to get to a point of being able to check yourself consistently is through practice. Just start doing it and see where it leads you, and the moment you begin to grow on purpose into a better and better version of yourself through mindful observation and changes toward being the type of person you want to be, your life experience will begin to reflect that positive, inspired effort, and you’ll begin to notice more and more details that many people miss.
It is only upon beginning a mindfulness practice in every moment, being self-aware and aware of others, being aware of how your actions, words, and thoughts are affecting the situation, and being aware of your boundaries and whether they are being violated. While some boundaries are deeper and less likely to come up in some situations than others, there are boundaries that are unspoken and considered, in my opinion, common courtesy, both to yourself and others. Typically speaking, emotionally healthy people will not purposely violate your boundaries, and if they do so accidentally, it’s your job to let them know gently and allow them the opportunity to adjust their interactions with you. While emotionally healthy people will typically admit their responsibility and learn from the experience, toxic or emotionally unhealthy people will shift the blame, refuse to apologize or take responsibility for their part, or forget it’s an issue for you and continue to behave the same way because they are so unconscious and unaware of themselves in relation to the world around them. This can be witnessed on a spectrum, so some things may not be quite as extreme as others, but I hope that this description helps you to better understand what may be happening in your experience that you’re partially responsible for as a co-creator.
Your inner world is a large contributor to your outer experience, so it’s important to take care of your inner landscape. Listen to yourself, trust your emotional input to help guide you, and consider any behaviors on your part and whether they are truly how you would like to behave or they are a program you were indoctrinated or conditioned with while you were growing up. Changing these thought and behavior patterns requires consistent work on your part, daily practice of doing as you would have others do (consciously following the Golden Rule). Becoming aware is the first step, and sometimes that brings about massive shifts in your reality as you change your life for the better.
And it is a process. Whether you’re still in the storm or on your way out of it, your journey can’t happen overnight, so it’s up to you to facilitate a faster journey of manifestation by taking excellent care of yourself, especially from within and when experiencing your emotions. This will in turn inspire you to take better care of your body, your vessel. When all of these systems work in harmony, life becomes easier and easier simply because you don’t allow anything to alter your energetic state because you guide that on purpose in the direction of your goals and aspirations. Your focus is on creating the life of your dreams in an effortless fashion, effortless meaning without energetic conflict or resistance via low-frequency emotions (fear, frustration, anxiety, etc.), not that it will be “easy” and without contrast.
This is what they mean by not allowing your outer circumstances to dictate your life. The energy you show up wearing every day affects everything within your life, so if you find yourself down on your luck or suffering in any way, ask yourself what you might be able to do to change it beginning with your mindset. When your words, actions, and energy don’t align, it sends mixed signals to those around you and can potentially create toxicity in your life. So, even in the seemingly direst circumstances, you have the choice to change how you see it. Think of how many successful people endured some form of suffering or another on their way to success. The transitional periods you create within your life are fully dependent on your outlook and your ability to move through the experiences without over-reacting due to judgment of the circumstance, other people involved, or yourself.
It may help to explain that a little further. By judging your circumstances or yourself for being in them (although it is your responsibility, guilt-tripping yourself doesn’t help anything), you create more resistance to those circumstances. Self-punishing thoughts like, “I’m a failure,” “No one cares about me,” or, “I just can’t get anything right,” won’t do anything to help you, and these are typically the types of thought loops that were created at some point during your life experience due to experiences with people who didn’t know how to be truly loving and gave you the wrong idea about what love is supposed to look like.
Now, here’s the part where it gets cool: you have the option and the power to choose your beliefs. If you have a belief that says rich people are evil, then you are actually sabotaging your ability to earn more money. It’s a fear of being corrupted by the monetary gain. Similarly, if you believe that you are broken, damaged, unlovable, or somehow lesser than other people, then you will attract people who see you the same way and treat you accordingly because those types of people tend to be toxic. The reason why this cycle is perpetuated and repeated the way it seems to be is because the damage happens on an energetic level and we are not taught to be aware in the ways that serve us, but we are taught to be aware in the ways that serve the person in power. This is part of the reason why an awakening or becoming aware of something life-altering can end up meaning that you lose many relationships that you learned were not on the wavelength you wanted to be on. What happened for me was that I realized my definition of love is completely different from certain other people’s definition of love and how someone would be loving versus how someone would be unloving, manipulative, or narcissistic. Your journey may not involve the same types of experiences, but the waking up process will still be similar.
Breaking any cycle takes a lot of self-awareness, personal accountability, and courage to keep going despite any difficulties, challenges, or contrast that may occur. However, if you’re reading this, then there’s a good chance that you are someone who is choosing to break a cycle, and I don’t mean only cycles of abuse. I also mean thought cycles and patterns of behavior that no longer serve you or your best interests. Taking charge of your life and changing yourself can be a challenge, to say the least, but is always worth it. Embracing constant growth and evolution with a relaxed, optimistic attitude allows room for the energy of inspiration to flow more freely, and you begin to organically develop an appreciation for being able to do something you absolutely love.
Inspiration is like fuel for your inner landscape and emotional frequency, and the more often you can tap into inspiration, the easier it will be to tap in on command eventually. It is a practice. This isn’t the only way to help you show yourself love and take better care of your inner world, but it is a very good method! Try it out for yourself by doing something you’re inspired to do every day for at least a week, and when you notice something beneficial arising from it, be grateful and really bask in that feeling of gratitude and love for a focused few minutes. This sends out that energy from you and allows more things that feel the same way to be attracted to you and come into your life.
And you should know that you are worthy of happiness, joy, abundance, and unconditional love. All of these things are yours if you choose them because you are a spark of divinity who has maybe forgotten your own divinity. It’s okay to start remembering and revising your life to match your new revelations. You will be supported and you are safe, even if it doesn’t always feel that way when you focus externally. The more attentive you are to meeting your own needs and maintaining a mindfulness practice, the more effortless this process becomes, although it is an ongoing, ever-present, moment-to-moment process.
Thank you so much for being here and reading the Mindful Leader Blog! We hope you’ll join us again next week for a new article on mindfulness and how to begin systematically changing your reality from the inside out.
For more information about the Mindfulness Movement or the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:
http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement
