We can probably all agree that every human being eventually has what we perceive and label as “positive” and “negative” experiences. How we choose to handle these experiences can be either constructive or destructive, working with our lives or against them. Allowing or resisting… and what we resist persists, so why not practice more acceptance and allowing rather than resistance? As much sense as this makes, it can be a little more challenging to put this mindset into practice, especially if you’ve never tried before or if you have unhealthy or destructive mental habits. Fortunately, once you recognize your own power to revise your thinking and give yourself permission to do so, you may find your life beginning to change and look brighter, even if it doesn’t feel like you’re doing a whole lot to “make” it that way. That’s part of the beauty… less doing and more being can actually greatly improve your outlook as well as your circumstances, because rather than frantically trying to force the solution you think is right, you can maintain the wisdom and flexibility to only give your attention to your divinely guided solutions, those that you know are right, intuiting your path while using your mind, logic, and ego as the tools they were meant to be. In this article, you’ll learn several ways to reframe your negative experiences and transmute them into personal lessons so that they serve a divine purpose for you and you can more easily release any associated traumas.
There is true power in knowing, recognizing, and understanding various aspects of ourselves and our lives. When we step into this personal power, we begin to understand that the only thing within our control is ourselves, our inner workings, and our ideas and beliefs. We cannot control the world around us, people outside of ourselves, or the circumstances that flow into our lives. While we can influence these, either positively or negatively, we cannot actually control them. Control implies a fear-based attitude, which affects the resonance or frequency at which our bodies vibrate, which in turn attracts more of the same energetic frequency. However, when we have a peaceful and abundant frequency, we attract more peace and abundance, whatever form those ideas may take.
So, knowing this, I want to help you to gain a deeper understanding of something that you’ve been through that may still hold some sadness, resentment, or trauma. Sit with those emotions for a moment as you think back on all that happened. Do your best to feel those feelings but not react to them. Now, in order to find—or, more accurately, create—the divine purpose within these seemingly negative events, you may want to set your emotions about the events aside. Just for now. When you’re ready, please read the next section.
Six Ways to Find Meaning in the Madness
- Take a big picture perspective. What can you derive from this experience in the moment? What knowledge or wisdom might you gain from the experience after it’s all said and done? Simply knowing and trusting yourself well enough to understand that you will find purpose in your circumstances can give you strength in adversity like you’ve never known. That’s why it’s important to be receptive to whatever it is that your life is trying to teach you, and remember that everything will be okay after it’s over.
- Think of it in terms of manifestation. When you express a desire with your emotions or vibrational state to the universe and then release it, the universe begins to conspire to shift your life around and make these things happen for you. It could be something small or something big, but in order to make room for this new manifestation (or the next step on your journey toward it), other parts of your life may need to crumble or fall apart. The bigger the change you wish to manifest, the more your life might change, and these disruptions can feel like the end of the world, especially if it’s a change toward a whole new direction in life. Once you’ve experienced something like this and are present with it as it happens, you can begin to see the connections leading you toward your desired manifestation. These connections may begin to give you clues during the experiences, but you may not be able to understand the whole story until later, after things settle down.
- Practice and cultivate your faith until it becomes a knowing. You don’t have to put your faith in anything except trusting in your ability to figure things out (Abraham-Hicks) without freaking out. You can call this faith in yourself, faith in Source, faith in life, or faith in God. The label you give it doesn’t matter; your practice of it does. I encourage you to practice this as often as possible with whatever label you’re most comfortable with, and if you set this intention, you may be presented with challenges in the real world to help you with that practice. That’s okay. Move peacefully and calmly through the chaos by knowing that you will come out on the other side of it stronger, wiser, and more in alignment with your divine purpose.
- Realize that the only person who can see the purpose of your life experiences is you (because you are the only one who has all the information from your unique perspective), and you are the only person who can define the reason for the experiences. There’s nothing that magical about it once you realize that you are the one with the power to transmute your pain into purpose. It’s so important to assign a purpose to experiences that we perceive as negative because it makes it so much easier to let go of the traumatic aspects of it. This is one step in the process of letting go, and coming to this breakthrough can greatly improve your chances of healing yourself through inner work and mindfulness practice, the key to lasting healing. So, if you take nothing else from this information, please absorb this: You assign the meaning, lesson, or purpose to your traumatic experiences, and only you can choose what to learn from those experiences. Your choice, whether you choose to learn something positive or negative (“All men/women are manipulative/abusive,” vs. “These were finite experiences. Is there anything that I’m doing that allows this to be a repeating pattern?”), will determine the course of your next phase in life, your next chapter. We are always involved in the co-creation of our experiences, whether we believe it or not. The key is to empower yourself with strength, knowledge, wisdom, and intuitive awareness so that you no longer attract these types of experiences. When you take responsibility for your part and assign your own lesson, you are stepping into your power by proclaiming with your inner work that you are not a victim.
- Be grateful for the experiences and lessons you have been afforded the opportunity to learn! Not only will they strengthen your spirit (like being tested in fire), but they will allow you to become the greatest version of yourself if you choose to learn a positive lesson from your experiences. Allow life to teach you by remaining open and completely honest with yourself, especially when it hurts a little bit. You’ll know that twinge when you feel it. Pay attention to it next time it happens. The more in tune you are to these very subtle signs from every aspect of your being, the faster you will move through the lessons you are meant to learn on your way. The best way to do this is to take the opportunities you are given to practice your inner skills and remain flexible, open, and optimistic during trying times. This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions and forcing your way through; rather, it means that you feel those emotions and allow yourself to be present with them for a short period of time or while you’re meditating or journaling to release them. However, once that time is done, you set them aside and shift your focus to more positive things.
- Make optimism a practice. Optimism is essentially reframing something in the moment. One person might complain about snow and cold weather. However, another person might be so awed by the beauty of nature that they don’t even care about being a little cold. These are directions of thought; one leans toward complaining and negativity, and the other leans toward appreciation and positivity. It isn’t what’s happening that matters. It’s how you feel about what’s happening that determines your next moments, short-term and long-term. It also determines how you experience life. Are you the type to make the best of a bad situation or the worst of a good one? Pay attention to how you automatically react to things. Take notice. Only then can you take the reins and step into your own power.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? Every experience we have within our lives is meant to teach us how to step into our power, and if we aren’t ready for the responsibility of that, we will continue attracting the lessons we’re supposed to learn, creating repeating patterns of behavior and experiences in our lives. Understand that every single aspect of life is divine. It was designed this way (in duality and contrast) for your soul’s growth and evolution, and it was meant to be savored, not shied away from. You are stronger and more powerful than you give yourself credit for, and the sooner you realize it, the sooner you will have the opportunity to thrive rather than just survive.
Thanks so much for reading!
For more information about the Mindfulness Movement or the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:
http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement
