Are you the type of person who effortlessly rolls with the punches or do you get stuck on certain aspects of experience and feel powerless to move forward? While these two outlooks can seem a little extreme, the truth is that all of us have both of these capabilities, and we simply choose which one we find works the best for us and our purposes during a specific experience. Each of us is just as capable of going with the flow successfully as we are of feeling stuck. There’s nothing inherently “wrong” with either approach, but I have found that being able to adapt to change quickly definitely makes things feel easier. The main components of going with the flow of life without creating more chaos are openness, trust, and confidence, along with a curiosity about anything that may come, challenging or blissful.
During times of contrast, mindset becomes the absolute key to whether you make it through with your sanity intact or end up taking several large steps back. While you can’t do much “wrong” in the grand scheme of your life and your soul’s eternal journey, per se, it’s not so much about right and wrong as it is about understanding and finding solutions that create a win for everyone. However, in order to do that, you cannot allow stressful times, worry, and other useless emotions to cloud your discernment.
As most things mindfulness and inner work related, this can be easier said than done, especially if these concepts are new to you while you’re going through your contrast or stress. One of the most important aspects is to not allow your stress to get to you or take over your decision-making process and throw toxic shadows onto your relationships. This can happen inadvertently when your priorities become more materialistic or superficial than love oriented, when you lose your faith that things will work out, when you lose your temper, when you begin blaming others for creating the situation without owning your part, etc. These are all things that can happen unconsciously, without you even thinking about it or considering it, and before you know it, there’s an even bigger mess to clean up and more chaos to calm.
It’s much easier and more productive for everyone involved when you choose mindfulness first and put it into practice during trying times. Being able to roll with the punches is like an art form, and while some people seem naturally gifted at this, most of us will need to practice and consciously participate in life to get to that point.
The idea behind getting to this mindset via practice is to completely annihilate your fear of discomfort and contrast in life, so that way you don’t spend so much time worrying about what horrible things might happen and you are more focused on solving the problems that already exist without making them bigger than they actually are. Your experiences all serve a purpose and allow you to grow and evolve as the amazing human being that you are, and remaining open to them will help you to handle things with ease and grace rather than anxiety and turmoil.
Sometimes we find ourselves in the midst of experiences that seem insurmountable or that are completely new. It can be scary! The specifics will be different for everyone; while one person may have money issues, another person may find their relationships in turmoil, and another may be diagnosed with a health condition. One person may be planning a wedding, another may be going through a divorce, and another may have just started a new business venture. No matter what the challenge, it will become easier when you know how to maintain your faith, trust in the universe and what life has to show you, and receive the experiences with receptiveness and wonder.
Another important thing to keep in mind is that everyone goes through ups and downs; no one is immune or sheltered from having life experiences, even if they seem sheltered from an outside point of view. We all face things we consider bad and things we consider good, things we consider positive and things we consider negative. When we focus on maintaining openness and a positive and wise outlook, we often find that we can handle things that come our way with much more effective and less stressful responses.
As a mindful leader, it’s important to maintain a balance between openness and follow through, sticking to the plan while rolling with the punches, so to speak. While this sounds easy enough in theory, it can take some practice to get the hang of it and put your balancing skills to work, so here are a few ideas to get you more comfortable and confident with remaining open to the unfolding of your life… the unknown.
Cultivating Mindful Openness to Life Itself
- Keep calm by being present in each moment. When challenges or new opportunities come along, it’s easy to fall into a trap of racing thoughts and end up creating more stress without even realizing it. Think about whatever it is that you’re experiencing. What can you do that is within your power right now? If the answer is nothing, or that you have to wait for more information, then let it go for now. Chances are that it won’t be the end of the world and it won’t kill you, even if things seem dire. In this moment, right here right now, does it really serve any purpose to worry or be anxious and stressed out? Is there anything that you can actually do right now to help solve the problem? If not, then give yourself a break and stop worrying.
- Don’t allow others to make you feel guilty for not worrying. This is a big one, because it can be a fine line to walk between not worrying and being completely ignorant or oblivious to the problems. That’s where your discernment has to come in, and remember that things always look different from the outside than they do from your own perspective, so your not worrying may look like not caring to some. Don’t take this personally; remember that you are the person in the thick of it with all of the information applicable to you, and you have to find what works for you and do that. Just because someone else is accustomed to stressing out and having panic attacks at the end of each month doesn’t mean that you have to live the same patterns. The way you go about handling things is your decision, not anyone else’s, so if you choose to stop worrying because it’s a waste of your energy, then it’s really none of anyone else’s concern.
- With change comes opportunity, and with opportunity comes infinite possibility. It’s important to remember this because maintaining an optimistic outlook on an emotional level can only help you as opportunities, connections, and ideas begin to present themselves to you in various ways. It’s difficult to see the good in things when your attitude is tainted with fear, worry, stress, and frustration. The same rings true for opportunities that might solve your problems. Sure, stressing out about it can give you some fear-based motivation to make things happen, but you might find that this fearful, forceful perspective can create its own damages in other areas of your life. A positive, optimistic outlook will help you to keep making wise and heart-centered decisions, which will not only bring new opportunities your way, but it will also help you to maintain relationships that are important to you.
- Trust in your own ability to figure things out. Not only will this strengthen your faith in life, but you will be confident that you can handle whatever might come your way. Part of the reason life gives everyone problems to go through (or really, we give ourselves problems to go through because our souls attract whatever will teach us in the best, most efficient ways possible) is so that you can empower yourself and remember how strong and resilient you actually are. If you’ve ever gone through and overcome a situation you thought you might not survive and then did, you will be able to remember your feelings of strength and empowerment and keep going. You’ve got this! Don’t doubt yourself; trust yourself.
- Choose curiosity and amusement to replace fear and annoyance. So, rather than dreading whatever it is that you think you might have to go through (creating a self-fulfilling prophecy), remember that this outcome is only one possibility of infinite possibilities in each moment, in each situation. By choosing to experience life with curiosity, you find yourself thinking, “Hm. I wonder how this will all play out?” rather than, “Oh, no. Not more chaos!” which attracts more drama and chaos, by the way. Shifting this perspective can only help you to stop the momentum of chaos and begin to reverse it. Do be aware of your momentum, though, otherwise you might find yourself getting even more frustrated trying to paddle upstream. So, if you’ve picked up a bunch of momentum toward negative thinking, take a nap or get a good night’s sleep so that you can start fresh and do your inner work before negative thinking takes hold.
Openness is an incredible attitude to have toward life itself, simply because it makes everything easier to handle. You literally learn to roll with the punches, and it’s exactly as effortless and self-preserving as it sounds. The challenge only comes at first, before you find your balance and get the hang of maintaining it. Don’t get too caught up on your perceived failures; it’s only through failure that we can learn and gain the wisdom we are meant to throughout our lives. The trick is letting go and trying again; joyful perseverance.
That’s not to say that you won’t feel any frustration or fear, but you will be much more adept at moving past whatever comes your way and not allowing setbacks to determine your state of being or mood. It isn’t about forcibly making your life easier by controlling or fixing everything outside of yourself. Rather, it’s about allowing your life to become easier naturally (via the law of attraction) by relaxing into your experiences and lovingly respecting the fact that you cannot control things outside of yourself. This removes a lot of outer responsibilities that may carry resentment or exhaustion with them while building your inner work skills so that you can effortlessly move through the unfolding of your life with openness, trust, and your own sense of inner peace and knowing.
Thanks so much for being here! I hope you’ve continued to enjoy our articles each week here on the Mindful Leader Blog.
For more information about the Mindfulness Movement or the International Mindfulness Federation, please visit:
http://executivecoachinguniversity.com/mindfulness-movement
